It's been far too long since my last Toy post but the duchess of dance is always on my mind. Like an aggressive brain tumor. 2013 is going to be a huge year for the thinking man's Jackson with a new reality show on the way and perhaps even new music. No, I haven't heard anything but I'm keeping the faith. It's only a matter of time before the legendary beauty hammers the final nail into Janet's career by reinventing dance-pop. I just hope I have at least one of my original hips when her smash drops! Until then we'll have to make do with her canon of classics.
As a long-time La Toya scholar, I thought I'd seen it all. So imagine my delight when the Church uncovered a hidden gem! In a typically insane career turn, Toy somehow ended up in Japan singing a cover of "Funky Town" with Minako Honda. I googled her duet partner and she's described as "the recently deceased Japanese Madonna". Shame! If this song and Minako's outfit - an aluminum foil dress and cheap $2 wig - are any indication of her style, the world lost a towering talent.
Everything about "Funky Town" is utter perfection. La Toya is the picture of loveliness and she actually looks like she's having a great time. The clip (below) was filmed in 1987, so I guess Janet's prettier sister hadn't been turned into a sad zombie by Jack Gordon yet. Watch in awe as Toy Toy proves why she was, is and will always be the most relevant Jackson. This is everything.