Thursday, November 15, 2012

Kelly Rowland's Vagina Takes Centre Stage - 'Ice' Video Review


Beyoncé's favourite backing vocalist had an epiphany a while back. Her voice wasn't getting much attention, so she shifted the focus to her vagina. It turned out to be an inspired career move. "Motivation" delayed her seemingly inevitable exile to Ashanti's island of failed R&B singers and she's been working those golden pussy lips ever since. Fair play. I like the vast majority most of Kelly's racy sex anthems - strippers need soothing background music too! - but her reunion with Lil Wayne is just too vulgar. Even for me.

Some of the lyrical highlights of "Ice":

- I leave that pussy smokin' like ice
- Pillow underneath my back, got me up against the window
- He hates it when I use my hands
- The mirror up on the ceiling got things so visual

It's basically the worst Xtube clip of all time set to music. But is the video any good? Unfortunately for Kelly's three remaining Rowl Dogs the answer is no. Sure, there is a really hot guy in it and Tenitra's mentor looks beautiful - particularly when she's rocking that huge Diana Ross wig. Apart from that, it's incredibly boring.

The "Party" video star wins points for revisiting some looks from earlier videos and the choreography is nice but I just don't buy the sex fiend routine. Let's not forget that Kelly is a really bad actress. I mean people clapped when her character was murdered in Freddy Vs Jason. I just wish she could be herself. Which is good enough for me but obviously not for the basic bitches downloading this garbage.

Song: 1/10, Video: 5/10

19 comments:

Rowldawggified tommie said...

HATER.

k-rowboi93 said...

ur just jealous cus kelly has regular sex with big cocks

Brenda said...

This is such a hit record, I think I'm going to buy it on iTunes today!

Glenda said...

I am so happy you read my thoughts, you completely real and not made-up person called Brenda!

Trenda said...

OMG Me too! I'd love to have my pussy abused and I bet this record will get my man to notice me! Bought and sold!

Brad said...

Ms Kelly is so hot that I will definitively get an erection.

Chad said...

You read my mind, my totally real brotha Brad! I fantasize about my penis in her vaginal area.

Thad said...

Fantasize? I've already put it there and it was so... nice!

Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter said...

#FML. Why is Kelly so much more beautiful and successful than me?

Tenitra said...

So proud of my sister for turning it #OUT!

LaTavia said...

Why doesn't anyone notice me... EVER?

LeToya said...

I suggested me n ms Kelly go gay in my next desperate attempt 2 go mainstream but she refused sayin she liked dicks only :(

Solange said...

"Year of the Woman" will be almost as good as my EP out 27th November.

Anonymous said...

mike were u drunk while writing this post??? the grammar is HORRENDOUS.

Mike said...

I wrote a post about Kelly Rowland's vagina. What do you think?

Anonymous said...

Am buying this on itunes

Sexbox said...

Kelly is good when she is consistent. She should continue down the porn route! it is finally giving her an image.

Me said...

She FLOPS at being sexy harder than the rancid Bayonse!

Weezy would never hit that.

Anonymous said...

Now #8 on the US urban charts.

Bey-who?