Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Britney & will.i.am = Big Fat Bass-ics


Is this it? Are you sure it's not an unfinished demo? No? Shit. I can't believe the intern pretending to be Britney on Twitter has been raving about this awful will.i.am collaboration for weeks. A high-profile feature is a good way of regaining some of the ground she lost when Femme Fatale tanked but this is the X Factor judge's worst single since... "Hold It Against Me". I thought it was humiliating for a legend like Nicole Scherzinger to sing about butt injections on another, vastly superior track from #willpower but "Scream & Shout" makes "Hoola Hoop" sound like something from 21. Eva Simons is laughing at both of these bitches right now while taking orders at her local McDonalds.

There's not a lot to say about this mess. I like the beat but it would have been better as an instrumental. The rap is uninspired and Britney sounds like she's leaving a message on someone's answering machine. It's just bad. The annoying thing is that will.i.am knows his way around a good pop song - Fergie's debut album is flawless from beginning to end - and his solo material can be decent (see the aforementioned Eva Simons collab for example). He should have just reworked "Big Fat Bass". At least that had a chorus. Who knows? "Scream & Shout" might be huge. Britney's fans are notoriously undiscerning and she is actually promoting the stinker unlike songs from her own album. But excuse me while I go and play some Ke$ha to cleanse myself of this musical abortion.

2/10

9 comments:

Alex said...

Why are you always so rude to Britney? This song is not the direction I think she should be taking with her music, but it's hardly her's anyway. Will produced and wrote it, I'm sure and Britney's just the lady he asked to do the vocals. She sounds nice anyway and her accent is very hot ;)

Alex said...

Oh, and the song IS getting a lot of praise from some people. I feel like this is the sort of commercial sound that will click with the public and do well on the charts, which is nice too.

Anonymous said...

I think will.i.am is just campaigning for 'the worst album in the history of music' contest. flopping with shitzinger and this diahrrea of a song called 't.h.e' i guess were not enough and he seems to be testing if he can push the bar even lower.

okai, Mike. this was good, but excuse me while I go revisit your "3 words" review to make time pass faster until your 'Unapologetic' review drops.

Anonymous said...

Hello it's 2008 calling, LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!

Me said...

What the fuck is with the worst wannabe English accent since that reductive old hag Medoner? I couldn't get past the first few seconds... ABYSMAL.

Poor Brinty...

Justin said...

Awful song.

Anonymous said...

“it's hardly her's anyway. Will produced and wrote it, I'm sure and Britney's just the lady he asked to do the vocals.” Change “Will” for Max Martin/Bloodshy/Danja/Dr Luke and “vocals” for autotuned mess and you have the description of Brinty`s whole career...

Matt said...

i love it when mike gets shady! unapologetic review pls!

Mike said...

Due to popular demand I will be reviewing Rihcycle's Unapologetic!