The Netherlands Has A Lot To Answer For

What in the Tokio Hotel hell is this? Tao Hypah - worst pop star name ever - is the Dutch answer to Adam Lambert. Only straight, I think. Don't get me start me. He recently launched his career with a dubiously-titled single called "Play The Girl" and it's every bit as dreadful as it sounds. Any song that begins with the lyrics:

You want to know what sex would be like if you were a boy,
I will play the girl, tell me what you want,
I will wear your skirt!

Is pretty much guaranteed to suck and Tao doesn't disappoint on that front. The sad thing (well, apart from his Mandy Kane-on-a-budget image), is the fact that there's a relatively catchy piece of Eurotrash hiding behind the tragic lyrics. This could have been a cheesy Taio Cruz-lite club-banger. Instead it will go down as that song about being fucked by a strap-on. Watch this trainwreck unfold before your eyes below.