Nicole's Desperate New Low

What's going on with Nicole Scherzinger? The poor bitch can't take a trick. I thought Killer Love was going to be her ticket to the B List but it got shelved in the US and forced her to flee to the UK like a refugee in the night. She's now a failed Australian dance show away from being Kelly Rowland!

If that's not bad enough, the Hawaiian beauty has been reduced to singing - one verse - on the latest buzz single from will.i.am's new album. I beg your fucking pardon. Didn't he do enough damage with "Baby Love"? That song torpedoed Her Name Is Nicole (AKA the best album never released) and stalled her promising solo career.

At least "Hoola Hoop" (below) is a hot track. I have to admit it took a few listens to click but it's extremely addictive in a Black Eyed Peas meets Pussycat Dolls kinda way. The highlights are obviously Nicky's quip about butt injections and her verse towards the end. If you're wondering who the other female voice is, the song heavily samples Rye Rye's "Shake It To The Ground".

There is actually a video to document Nicole's sad decline to buzz single feature creature status but it was pulled shortly after leaking. The Puakenikeni aficionado makes "Hoola Hoop" memorable but career-wise, this is the talented diva's lowest moment since taking second billing to Keri Hilson on "Scream".