Everyone knows I'm down with the Netherlands. Any country with tall men, relaxed drug laws and plenty of pretty flowers is fine by me. I'm also rather fond of Dutch pop. Donna Lynton remains the best kept secret of the entire disco era, I would take EliZe over Adele any day and I stan hard for Eva Simons. But fuck me dead. This year's Amsterdam Pride theme song is a crime against humanity.
"I'm Gay" makes me wish I wasn't. Performed by Brandi Russell (who was in an underrated girlband called RED!) and a quartet of ratchet gays from a reality TV show, the song sounds like something the Village People rejected in 1979 for being too obvious and over the top. I'm sure everyone had good intentions but I really don't feel the need to shout "I'm gay" to random strangers while walking down the street. They can probably already tell by the La Toya Jackson track blasting from my iPod.
The video (below) also annoys me. For such an inclusive message, where is the diversity? Give me a fierce Asian gay or a big hairy bear. I'd even take a morbidly obese lesbian in a wheelchair but I'm not here for a bunch of twinks that look like they missed the latest Bel Ami casting for being too old and broke down. This is a fucking mess.