Whatcha gonna do when your network is struggling in the ratings? If you're Oprah Winfrey, the answer is easy - call La Toya Jackson. The media heavyweight recently removed her mouth from Gayle's crotch long enough to greenlight Life With La Toya, a reality show that documents the crumbling Jackson empire (for example, Katherine's recent disappearance and Janet's shocking abuse of Michael's daughter Paris) as well as shedding light on Toy Toy's famous friends and iconic entertainment career. It goes without saying that this is the TV event of the new millennium.
If you need further proof, relive the flawless diva's unforgettable 1991 appearance on The Phil Donahue Show (which was kind of like the '80s/'90s equivalent of Jerry Springer). I die inside when that nasty woman asks if La Toya can really sing - and I'm not even going to comment on the dragon that tells Queen Toy to get a life - but I love how the music veteran nonchalantly discloses that her marriage is a sham and admits she doesn't know her husband's age. That's some vintage shade, right there! Make no mistake, you're gonna get rocked by Life With La Toya! Read all about it here.