Friday, March 09, 2012

Jessie J - Live In Sydney

Last September I asked the million dollar question: How do you solve a problem like Jessie J? Well, six months have passed and I'm still no closer to finding the answer. Last night's gig only served to underline everything that's wrong - and right - about one of pop music's most frustrating artists. The 23-year-old Brit has talent to burn and a pocketful of killer tunes. Unfortunately, she's also prone to over-singing even the most basic lyric and has an Adele-sized chip on her shoulder that grates everyone except the most deluded loyal heartbeat. Speaking of the diva's militant fan army, five and a half thousand of them squeezed into a sold-out Hordern Pavillion to see their icon in action and, if their non-stop crying and screaming was any indication, they had the time of their lives. I wish I could say the same.

Jessie J was almost unrecognisable when she strutted on stage. Looking more like Loose-era Nelly Furtado than the bob-wearing tom-boy of her videos, she burst into a vocally flawless rendition of "Who's Laughing Now". Her band was tight and she seemed a lot less awkward than during her recent award show performances. The high standard continued with a funk-heavy version of "Rainbow" and a reggae-tastic interpretation of "Stand Up", which she mashed with Bob Marley's "One Love". Album fave "Casualty Of Love" was followed by a heartbeat-rousing take on her brilliant top 10 hit "Nobody's Perfect". By this stage I was about shed my apprehensions and join the hyperventilating tweens around me but it was mostly downhill from here.

The remainder of the show was very ballad heavy. "Abracadabra", "L.O.V.E." and "Mama Knows Best" were all excuses for Jessie to practice her vocal scales. Most women don't wail like this during childbirth. It's so off-putting and unnecessary. We all know she can sing. All that trilling just makes her sound insane. The perfect example of how she can ruin excellent material with this annoying approach was "Who You Are", which is actually a beautiful song. Unfortunately, all I heard was frantic screaming and a five minute lecture about loving yourself and not giving into haters. We get it, Jessie. Kids hated you at school. But you're rich and famous now - move on! Happily, the encore was great. "Do It Like A Dude" is such a hot mess and bringing a fan on stage to share vocal duties on "Price Tag" was really cute. She saved "Domino" for last and that already hot track sounded ten times better live. I really want to like this chick. Can she please just get over herself and stop shouting?

1 comment:

Me said...

She si so VILE... I bet the kids hated her faux-bisexual backside because she is so far up it... and it takes a certain level of immaturity to write something as puerile as "Who's Laughing Now" especially when your career is all paid for...

And to answer the question "Who's Laughing Now/" it is definitely the "haters" she is so desperate to diss as she is clearly obsessed with them while thy moved on from her CaCa-meetsKe$ha-meetsSTINKIMINGvaj-meetsRihanna wannabe style years ago