Monday, February 27, 2012

An Amazing Eurovision Entry About Craving Cock

As far as I'm concerned Eurovision 2012 is already a write-off. Soraya forgot to enter for Spain and more outrageously, what is clearly the winning song has been overlooked by Holland's flop judges/population and will now be missing from the line-up in Azerbaijan. This needs to be investigated by The Hague and corrected immediately! So what makes Raffaëla Paton's "Chocolatte" such a triumph? Well, it could be the 2006 Dutch Idol winner's bad Rihanna wig or perhaps it's her bargain-basement attempt at recreating Beyoncé's "Sweet Dreams" bodice outfit.

Then again it might just be the undeniable genius of her exquisite electro-pop anthem. This is all kinds of ridiculous from the dated production to the hard-hitting lyrics about... cock. At first, I thought "Chocolatte" was an ode to having a sweet tooth but on closer inspection I think Raffaëla is craving something else in her mouth. The stunning 28-year-old sings: "You won't get too far with any chocolate bar, the one thing that'll do is big & dark and comes with you." Hoe, please - you're so sprung! I know what you want and I'm not judging. Finally a song that explores a serious theme that we can all idenify with and it's rudely dismissed. It's a sad day for pop music. Watch the Eurovision winner that never was (below).


Rob Bruin said...

OK, 'Holland' vs. 'Netherlands': the first is a former country that has emerged into what is now known as The Netherlands. Saying 'Holland' is just as weird as saying Scotland while meaning the entire UK. Really, it's just as sensitive over here as the English-Scottish relations are over there! It really makes a difference!

Other than that: the Netherlands seeks the record for most ESC #1… flops! I guess we try to set a record over here. :.)

Then again, every candidate in the 'National Eurovision Song Contest' was met with much sarcasm and/or cynism, and the reasons were there, mind you!

My fave, for now, would be Ήβη Αδάμου/Ivi Adamou, with the song «Lala Love», representing Kypros

Anonymous said...

did you also see Conchita Wurst?