So I finally got around to watching Lady Gaga's "Marry The Night" video tonight - a whole three days after it premiered. That little statistic speaks volumes. In the past a new clip from Mother Monster was cause for celebration. I would be glued to my computer, waiting to see how much further she could raise the bar for music videos. Say what you like about the Benjamin Buttons of pop. Before Gaga started spending money on clips towards the end of the "Fame" era, blockbuster visuals were as hard to find as Rihanna's dignity. But then came "Paparrazzi", the all-conquering "Bad Romance" and already iconic "Telephone".
Suddenly, pop stars started delivering the goods again. Katy Perry is now dropping her own special-effects laden mini-movies, RiRi re-made Trainspotting for "We Found Love" and poor, old Britney did her best to look lucid in "I Wanna Go". This makes Lady Gaga's current run of visual flops all the more confusing. How did she fall this far? I liked the camp horror aesthetic of "Born This Way" but the other MVs from this album stink. "Judas" was a lame attempt to pick up where "Alejandro" left off. The status of "Edge Of Glory" (or "Dancing On A Fire Escape", as I like to call it) as the single most disappointing entry in her videography is undeniable and the best thing I can say about "You And I" is that she looked hot as a guy. I really hoped the diva could turn it around with "Marry The Night" but Gaga's ego gets in the way, as usual, and we're left with close to 14 minutes of pretentious bullshit with a bit of awesome choreography throw in at the end.
Seriously, does this bitch think anyone cares about her stupid mental hospital ramblings? I don't take spiritual advice from someone who makes a living pretending to be Grace Jones. And the nude scenes? I've seen sexier bodies on senior citizens. The annoying thing is that the old spark is still there. I laughed out loud at the Bedazzler comment and I love the dance class scene. Even her dancing on the car was good in a Ciara-did-it-first kind of way. Someone really needs to tie Lady Gaga to a chair and force her to watch "Bad Romance" on repeat. It was a genius clip because it had a fully-realised concept that suited the song perfectly and managed to be confronting and original without coming across as a desperate cry for help from a talented but unstable film student with delusions of grandeur. Mama Monster needs to reign the crazy in because people are losing interest. "Born This Way" has sold less than half of "The Fame" and self-indulgent rubbish like this is not helping her cause.