Tuesday, December 20, 2011

La Toya Conquers Mexico

Forget Beyoncé at the Billboard Music Awards. Ignore Adele at the Brits. The most accomplished live(-ish) performance of 2011 belongs to La Toya Jackson! Janet's prettier sister brought Mexico to a standstill last night when she graced the finale of La Academia - think X Factor on acid - with her legendary presence and raised the bar for popular music to previously unimagined heights by delivering a flawless mimed rendition of her 2004 top 20 US club smash "Just Wanna Dance".

I feel like I have been waiting my whole life to see empress Toy mouth the lyrics "shaking my ass with lots of class". And it was definitely worth the wait. Living up to her title as the world's sexiest woman, the ageless beauty drew gasps of adoration from the crowd when she appeared on stage with her gaggle of semi-competent dancers. The next four minutes flew by in a blaze of finger clicks, hip-shaking and exquisite miming that basically ended Britney' career then and there.

Make sure you stay tuned for the amazing post-performance interview in which La Toya claims to be the creative force behind Michael's "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough". I think we can all agree that Mexico got well and truly rocked!


tommie said...

La Toya just scalped that tired old pregnancy-faking slut Beyawncé.

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Anonymous said...

Nat Bass would kill for this crowd. Oh wait. She's too busy being a grandmother.

noelster said...

miming ur way thru an ancient dance track - check!

taking credit for something on international television the lawyer will probably never see - check!


Seth said...

I have tears on my eyes, Toy has conquered my country, Mexico got fucking rocked!!, everyone was doing chest to chests, toying with each other's back doors and just feeling the funk! So many lessors cud neva!! Toy conquering Mexico is definitely one of the most defining moments of 2011! I'm fucking slayed.

Sotres said...

I live in México and I know this show since it began. I like La Toya, but I assure you most of the people who attended that show don`t know who she is.

Bruce said...

¡Viva La Toya!

Not since Reno has a city completely and truly gotten rocked like this.

I live for a fade out in a "live" performance!

Anonymous said...

LaT would not be recognized in a crowd. Just another Jackson capitalizing on Michael's name. RIP Michael.

Anonymous said...

Go Latoya, she is so cute! i like this song and she did a great job

Me said...

So many FLOP divas are looking forward to a BALD 2012 after Toy single handedly snatched every last weave, wig and dodgy headpiece going with that stunning performance!

Mexico got ROCKED!