Thursday, November 10, 2011

My 2 Cents On Madonna's Latest

An exclusive first look at Madonna's "Give Me All Your Love" artwork


I still remember the first and only time I listened to "Hard Candy". My ears started to bleed and I had to douche with holy water before throwing the CD under the nearest moving vehicle. It took me years to recover but lately I've become a bit sentimental about the old girl and found myself revisiting her earlier work - particularly 2003's underrated "American Life". I was actually looking forward to new material but if the recently leaked "Give Me All Your Love" is any indication of the pop icon's new sound, I'll pass. And not for the reasons other people are citing. Let's be clear - I like it when old ladies make club records!

If it were up to me Olivia Newton-John and Bette Midler would be in the studio dabbling in dub step at this very moment. The idea that dance music is restricted to kids is just ridiculous. Madonna has always been about the dancefloor and will hopefully still be popping her wrinkly pussy in that gross leotard well into her twilight years. The problem is her choice of material. "Give Me All Your Love" is embarrassing. I don't think it sounds like Britney or Gwen Stefani and Avril Lavigne fans need to take a seat. She did not invent chanting! The sad truth is none of those divas would release something this generic and soulless. Well, apart from Ms Spears.

While I can't deny that there's something cute (and catchy) about the chorus, as a whole, it falls flat. Madonna sounds like a robot and the lyrics are painful. Age has got nothing to do with it. This track would be equally shit if sung by a 20 year old. Earlier today Guy Oseary tweeted that "Give Me All Your Love" is just a demo, which is some relief but he did confirm it would be on the album. My question is why? Madonna can work with whoever she likes and this Sabi B-side is the best she can come up with? Return to the drawing board, bitch and try again. Your legacy demands it.

11 comments:

tommie said...

She looks so pretty and young in that picture. Did she get some new botox injections?

Francis Fares said...

L U V Morguedonna.

Petra said...

You are so eloquent. I couldnt have phrased it any better. She's been on a slippery slope since Ray of Light, if you ask me.

John said...

I DO think she's too old to be doing cheerleader chants in songs, but you're right that the song falls a bit flat even without that.

Sotres said...

HOW YOU DARE! In one side you describe La Toya Jackson as the "queen of pop" and then you call "shit" to the REAL QUEEN OF POP? Im sorry but this time I have to disagree COMPLETELY with you. Even with the comparisons being made to "Give Me All Your Love" ("Mickey" by Toni Basil, "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani, "Beat Of My Drum" by Nicola Robets, etc), Madonna's new single is a powerful catchy dance tune that I'm sure will teach those pretentious divas (Gaga, Perry, etc) how a real icon does it. Martin Solveig's production is awesome, very Solveig and very up to date. The lyrics are not meant to get a prize nobel for literature, it's just a fun song to have fun with, period.
As always, I respect your opinion and I'm glad you care about the opinions of your readers.
Best regards.
José.

noelster said...

FLAWLESS as always!

Brad said...

I found it much better than what I actually expected. I mean, I was thinking she was going to do something more along the lines of "grind up on me in the club" (trying to be 21 at 53), but this is mild in comparison. I also thought Martin Solveig's production was innovative and quirky. Although, I could go without the chanting. At least she isn't bribing America's hottest producers to formulate her a hit. She could of done a Dr. Luke, but she took a risk and worked with a French producer. I think it payed off. It's nothing groundbreaking, but I actually quite like it.

Madonna Matt said...

you think that you are strong but you are weak you'll see!

Anonymous said...

Mike last i heard Olivia newton john was recording a dance album. with marius devrie as producer on some songs i bet it will be better than madonna's trash.

Mike said...

What?! I hope it's true. I love the songs from that scrapped dance album she made in the early noughties!

Chris MCB said...

This song is bad and a Minaj rap may save this mess.
This is more embarassing than 4 Minutes.

Hopefully the Glee kids can save this mess as well.

Mike don't let the trolls and the haters get to you. This review is the most honest I have seen on the net.