It's hard to type when you're crying, shaking and masturbating but I'll do my best. My beloved orange goddess is back! Naturally, I'm talking about the former first lady of AATW - the divine Kelly Llorenna. A woman that has clocked up more dance hits (and hours at the tanning salon) than all of your faves put together! This is literally the most exciting thing to happen to me since McDonalds brought back shaker-fries. But where to start? In late 2010 I spoke to the eternally youthful English beauty about her latest project - a band called Freak Asylum. She already had an alter-ego picked out (Lola Leethal) and a video treatment at the ready but almost a year passed and nothing happened. That is until now.
The UK's hottest new band has finally dropped their debut single and it's an absolute winner. "You Better Leave" is a glorious shot of '80s-tinged synth-pop complete with Starship-tastic guitars and the kind of chorus that gets lodged in your head after one listen and refuses to leave. I know that K-Lo gets a bad rap but put your prejudice aside because this is genuinely awesome. And I haven't even started on the video, which features Kelly is various states of undress - her tangerine skin glowing like gold against her PVC fuck-me-boots. It's more than I can handle. Now where can I download this smash before I break YouTube by pressing replay too often?