Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Ms Kelly's Fisting Anthem

Reviewing Kelly Rowland's latest album has been on my 'to do' list since returning from LA. The problem is I still can't decide if it's a lazy collection of soulless club-bangers and babymakin' slow jams or a tight R&B offering that I subconsciously begrudge for overlooking killer tunes like "Rose Colored Glasses" and "Forever And A Day". I'm sure the truth lies somewhere in between and I'll keep listening to "Here I Am" on repeat until I get some clarity but there's one song that demands immediate attention - Kelendria's amazing fisting anthem "I'm Dat Chick". We all know Kelly likes to get her freak on but this is some next level shit!

Tenitra is praying for Ms Kelly's soul


"I be the one that they love to mention," announces Bey's BFF at the beginning of Tricky Stewart's catchy club-banger. No wonder. "Work your fist, I'm dat chick" demands the DC diva repeatedly in filthy chorus. I thought all that talk about dripping over Lil Wayne in "Motivation" was an exaggeration but now I'm convinced that when Ms Kelly rains, it really pours. Because she has no control of her pelvic floor. Regardless of the health and safety implications of the 30-year-old's favourite hobby, this is a hot song and one of the standouts on "Here I Am". An aspiring director has even taken it upon himself to pitch a video. Unfortunately it doesn't involve Kelly in stirrups surrounded by dancers dressed in head-to-toe Latex but the idea is cute enough. And this really needs to be a single. There's only so many times fetish clubs can play NIN's "Closer"!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

DEAD @ tenitra lololol

Matt said...

class as usual.

Diva Incarnate said...

It's a fisting frenzy. Michelle can take a fist up each nostril, and Beyonce's storage capacity for keeping KFC buckets for later is legendary. The reason LeToya, LeTavia and LeFarrahWho all got sacked is they were lazy and refused to 'stretch' themselves I can only assume.

Bruce said...

I think she's talking about guys jerking off with their fists while they think of her.
that's what I do.