I have a confession to make. After months of soul-searching and deep reflection, I think I'm ready to come out... as a Jessie J fan! Her album was a bit average but the woman can sing and sure knows how to pen a hit. I even like the fact that she looks like a East German Olympian circa 1983. So why I am so embarrassed? It could be her painful appearance at the VMAs, where she sat in a chair and destroyed other people's songs between ad breaks. Perhaps it has something to do with her increasingly desperate tweets begging fans to download "Who's Laughing Now" because she really wants another UK top 10. Or maybe it's just her status as pop music's least convincing bisexual. Whatever. If I knew I'd write Jessie's management a strongly worded letter because there would be no stopping her if she didn't come across as such a tit.
Fuck Pitchfork and their assessment of the 23-year-old Brit's debut album as the nadir of popular music. I agree that she needs to pull back on the vocal acrobatics and dislodge the chip from her shoulder but "Do It Like A Dude", "Price Tag" and "Nobody's Perfect" were all good singles. Then there's her latest Dr Luke-produced anthem "Domino" (AKA that song that sounds like it really should be on "Teenage Dream"). I don't care if it is a blatant Katy Perry knock-off. It's cute, catchy and has amazing, non-sensical lyrics like "dirty dancing in the moonlight, take me down like I'm a domino". Come again? Better yet is the recently leaked "Without You", which is the best ballad Jessie has ever over-sung, and her amazing David Guetta collaboration "Repeat". Dance music is the diva's future! I love this track and hope it's a single. Check out the second best song on "Nothing But The Beat" below.