Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Is Pattyboy the worst pop star of all time?

That was a rhetorical question because the answer is clearly yes! Pattyboy is the hottest mess to grace Pop Trash Addicts in its long and sordid history. With the voice of an unautotuned Kim Kardashian, dance moves that Katherine Hepburn perfected shortly before leaving this mortal coil and a wardrobe of outfits that look like rejects from Perez Hilton's short lived fashion line, this gay drags pop music to shocking new depths. But I'm not gonna hate. In fact, New Zealand's self-proclaimed male Lady Gaga - I just can't - is my new hero! It takes balls of steel (or a mental illness) to put yourself out there with this little talent and, let's face it, his music is still probably better than half of "Born This Way".

Take his amazing breakthrough hit "Disco Erection". The stunning club banger finds Pattyboy doing aerobics in his mother's old lyrca gym shorts on the floor of a nightclub while singing saying classy lyrics like "drink it up, bend and suck, get fucked". Doesn't it make you proud to be gay? No? Well, how about his glorious gay pride anthem "Wear Your Colours"? I might need to lay off the marijuana but I actually think there's a nice song hiding somewhere inside this heinous trainwreck. It has a sweet message and is a radical improvement on "Disco Erection" but Pattyboy's non-existent vocal ability and criminal dress sense ensure this will be another entry on the worst songs of all time countdown. Shame. As shit as he is, I'm kind of glad the taste-blind Kiwi is deluded enough to keep at it. And, truth be told, I can't wait to see what new depth he plumbs next!

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

thanks mike i just turned straight

Tommy said...

Those poor kiwis.. I'm sure the esteemed Pattyboy and his Canadian counterpart, Peter Breeze will be taking the pop world by storm any day now.. fear for your ears!

tommie said...

*shaking & crying*

This is just beyond epic! I'm glad we have someone to REPRESENT us!

matt said...

this is just rotten!

Mike said...

Wow Peter Breeze is amazing! I think he deserves his own Pop Trash feature. Imagine if he joined forces with Pattyboy for a duet?

The Prophet said...

This is Pattyboy's latest musical abomination.

http://youtu.be/_hBAPu1oGaE

michael said...

My God! Out of boredom, I am watching his vlogs. He works in a gelato store in New Zealand I just discovered. It's organic.

dayum said...

*grabs crucifix n prays*

PattyBoy said...

Hello Pop Trash.
I am flattered you took the time to blog about me.
Thank you.
Wear Your Colours :)

Anonymous said...

He needs a bullet

Anonymous said...

stop giving this loser attention

T. said...

OMG this is tragic and funny, I can help feeling sad for him, is there really people who'r gonna buy this???
anyway we now people are going to buy all the new LaToya's stuffs so that why I did a brand new blog 2.0 for her take a look > http://latoya-jackson.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Is he a bargain basement version of Patrick Wolf?? Oh sorry that homo has talent! If all else fails he can do porn like SuperTwink (Google that for a good laugh!)

Anonymous said...

It's kinda funny cos he works at the gelato place near my uni and I know him personally, he's actually pretty fucking cool as a person.

It's just a shame that his songs suck shit.