Dear Lady Gaga,
You are one shady bitch. I loved your first two albums - you know, when you actually made fun music - and couldn't care less if you recycle Madonna's entire back catalogue but the time has come to stop ripping off La Toya. I know it's hard not to be inspired by the greatest vocalist of the past 25 years. Toy Toy's own sister spent decades jackin' her swagger but at least Janet had the decency to become a massive flop and disappear, while you continue to rob the Priestess of Pop blind. At first I thought your La Toya obsession was cute. It's clear she's everything you aspire to be (and more) but your latest image is the final straw. You're obviously trying to con Toy Toy's tens of fans into buying your new album by dressing up as her long lost twin sister. Well, I'm on to you and plan to expose your evil trickery to the world. Listed below are six irrefutable examples of your thieving ways. In the words of the great one herself - it's time to get correct!
Yours in utter disgust,
Example 1: Her new look
It annoys me that deluded monsters hail Lady Gaga's alien look as innovative and cutting edge when La Toya has been compared to extra-terrestrials for years. Compare the following pics. Need I say more?
Example 2: Taking to the runway
When the world's least original pop star walked the runway for Tierry Mugler fans fell over themselves proclaiming Gaga a fashion icon. If only they knew the Benjamin Button of pop stole the idea from Toy Toy.
Example 3: Hitching her wagon to Beyoncé
One of the smartest moves Gaga ever made was roping in the services of the vastly more popular and critically acclaimed music icon Beyoncé to give her some credibility and class. Only, you guessed it. Toy Toy got there first!
Example 4: Red carpet publicity whoring
Mother Monster's arrival at this year's Grammy Awards made international headlines but the bitch has nothing on the thinking man's Jackson, who has turned red carpet whoring into an artform. Even if no one's there!
Example 5: The Eiffel Tower
One of Toy Toy's most iconic photoshoots took place in front of the Eiffel Tower, so I guess it was only a matter of time before Gaga tried to emulate her glamorous idol.
Example 6: Ripping off Madonna
Lady Gaga thought she was so clever ripping off "Express Yourself" but it's clear she got the idea from La Toya, who scored a massive top 30 smash (in Holland) some 20 years earlier with a song that samples "Like A Virgin". Compare "Born This Way" with the vastly superior "Sexbox" below.