Wednesday, April 13, 2011

La Toya is finally startin' over - No, really.

I still remember the first time I heard La Toya's "Just Wanna Dance". It was late 2003. Kylie's "Slow" was number one and I was pretty much just listening to that track on repeat. Out of the blue I received an email saying Toy Toy was embarking on her 217th comeback and I spent the next few days hunting it down. When I finally found an mp3, I was almost too scared to play it. After the final nail in her career coffin otherwise known as "Stop In The Name Of Love", I was prepared for just about anything BUT the best pop song of the year. "Just Wanna Dance" - with its iconic gender-bending lyrics and catchy vocal hooks - became an internet sensation and when the song climbed all the way to number 13 (on the US club chart), it looked like La Toya was on the brink of scoring her very first hit. A mere 24 years after releasing her debut single!

Unfortunately, the legendarily inept Ja-Tail Records never got around to filming a video or releasing it or its equally amazing parent album "Startin' Over". To be honest, I thought the version that leaked in 2005 would be the closest we'll ever get to hearing it but Janet's prettier sister has promised the New York Post that it will hit iTunes by the end of 2011! As pigs flew over Ja-Tail HQ and hell froze over, La Toya revealed: "You are going to hear new music from me – because the fans keep asking for it. I'm doing an album called Startin' Over that I've been starting over forever! I'm going to put that out before the year is over and then I'm done with music."

Before you start weeping over the last sentence. I'd take it with a grain of salt. Toy Toy has music in her blood and I have a sneaking suspicion she'll still be showing hacks like Madonna how it's done for decades to come. It's also good to hear that the tracklist has changed and she's scrapped the urban vibe of the original "Startin' Over". Toy told her soldiers: "It's strictly dance – all about fun, the lyrics are very personal to me. Love Honor and Obey is about being homophobic in the world today. I don't get it why anyone discriminates. It's so the wrong way to live. It's what I feel inside – what I think. Everyone will love it."

This is too much. The Pope of Pop is about to release her first album in 16 years and plans to free the world from homophobia, one nightclub at a time! Read the amazing article here and re-live the worldwide smash that never quite happened (below). Toy Toy is officially back.

9 comments:

Martin said...

Oh god, that "I'm done with music" comment sent a shockwave through my young nubile body... If Toy retires then I'll have no other choice than to commit suicide/listen to Hard Candy on repeat. A life without new Toy/Cher/Louise is just not worth living.

Bruce said...

Considering the little amount of effort some artists put into their music (Britney, cough cough), I'm so glad La Toya is taking the time to craft her masterpiece.

She's clearly in touch with the pop zeitgeist, and has has been deftly timing this release for the right moment, waiting for dance music and songs about tolerance to come back in vogue. And for the buzz over her tv appearances to die down.

This is going to be another SMASH! There's no way Ja-Tail can mess this up!

Me said...

Beyond Fabulous! Though I would put money on a certain pair of attention seekers to stalk Jeffre to try and get the tracks for free prior to the release leading to the whole thing being cancelled...

Anonymous said...

How fantastic to finally hear this song and to put me out of my misery. After hearing it, it was wonderful to find out all of those postive remarks about LJ were all tongue in cheek.

Mike said...

Martin, nothing is bad enough to make you listen to Hard candy on repeat. That's my idea of hell!

And yes, Bruce. I'm sure the 9 year delay was 100% intentional. Best promo campaign ever!

Magical Froggy said...

It feels like I've waited all my adult life for this moment... La Toya is going to throw down like never before and this time the world will take notice!

Toy_Soldier said...

mike i love u but i'll believe this when i have a copy in my hands!!

Andrew said...

Just Wanna Dance already sounds fresher than whatever bomb bey plans to flop with.

Mike said...

Piers - I know, right?

Now now Andrew. There's room for two superstars.