Friday, March 04, 2011

Kim Kardashian's Stunning New Single

2011 has been a shocking year for pop music with massive disappointments from the likes of Britney Spears and Lady Gaga flooding the airwaves. Thankfully, one aspiring diva has succeeded where the big names have failed - by showcasing a raw, unbridled vocal talent that will leave your ears begging for more. Of course, I'm talking about reality TV mogul Kim Kardashian - who first came to fame by riding Ray J's huge dick on camera. While that remains her career highlight, "Jam (Turn It Up)" comes a close second. Kim's catchy club anthem is the handiwork of The-Dream and Tricky Stewart, who are best known for producing Beyoncé's iconic worldwide number one smash "Single Ladies". Unfortunately, even their reputation wasn't enough to insulate poor Kim from the haters, who have labelled "Jam (Turn It Up)" the worst song ever recorded. Do those CUNTS even have ears? Admittedly, singing isn't the diva's strong point but vocal giants like Heidi Montag and Paris Hilton only come along once or twice a generation. I find Kim's robotic, bored out of her mind voice hilarious. It's like she couldn't even be bothered trying in case it fucked with the Restylane in her lips! My favourite part is when she talks sings "I'm goin' to work like I'm payin' my bills, bii-lll-s". Was she even awake? The thing is - it doesn't matter. The production is great and the song is incredibly catchy. If Rihanna or Bey recorded this it would be huge. Let the haters hate. I have a new favourite pop diva. Bring on the album, Kimmy!

8/10

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

r u high?

tommie said...

This has so grown on me - I'm a trash addict!!

And to be fair to her, who wouldn't be bored if they were paying their bills?

Anonymous said...

you truly are a trash addict, 8/1000 would be more like it

Mariah said...

Heidi > Kim

even antoine dodson's song is better.

Mike said...

Well, obviously Heidi > Kim!

Heidi > Madonna + Brit + Gaga

But I still love this trash. It makes me laugh and I'm dying to see the video. I wonder if they'll even bother releasing it now...

Jafet M. Denegri said...

I love this trash

Jump! said...

I can't even joke about this being good. It's fucking dire.

Bruce said...

Okay, how many takes? My guess is two...

Turn her UP! was just something she was saying as she put on the headphones but it was among her better bits so they had to incorporate it.

Her talking is much better than her singing. (Wait, DOES she sing?) Truly a great song tho, is it too early to call it Song of the Summer? If the song had a few moaning toygasms in it I could see it squatting at #1 on the worldwide pop charts for the rest of the year.

If only she and Paris were cool again they could tour together this summer to sold out stadiums throughout my mind.

Shant said...

Are you even Serious Mike?? you think lady gaga and Britney disappointed while Kim delivered what the hell?? do you even have ears?? the song sucks.

D'luv said...

You're such a ho. EVERYONE knows it's:

Heidi > Kim ZOLCIAK > Smokahontas Jones > Hoku > Kim Kardashian > Tara Kemp > Dannii > Kylie > Lady Britney > My cats howling for Fancy Feast > Madonna

pork said...

i used to visit your website.
til i read your stance on this kim kardashian music.
you're serious? your new favorite pop diva?
next.
:removes from favorites:

Mike said...

I love the people that read my blog <3

humtv said...

“Kim” Kardashian was born in October 21, 1980 in an American family. She is a television personality, actress, model, and recording artist.

I love Kim Kardashian.

Julia said...

It sounds like That /Rebecca black Friday song

Anonymous said...

THIS IS GARBAGE. You are a disgrace to people with ears. You rave about the garbage that crawled out of an record store dumpster but down talk anything that is anywhere near competent to be called music.

Wow.

Clifford said...

It can't work as a matter of fact, that is what I consider.
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