The tracklist for Ke$ha's "Cannibal" has finally hit the net and the song titles alone have sent the blood rushing to my man parts. I'm convinced the holy pop icon/genre defining musical maverick has the album of the year on her hands. "We R Who We R" is already a #1 smash on US iTunes and the just leaked "Sleazy" showcases Ke$ha's incomparable versatility. There hasn't been a move this unexpected since Paris revived reggae with "Stars Are Blind"! The anticipation is killing me. So instead of waiting until the 22nd of November to review the legendary diva's sure to be stunning opus, I thought I'd do it now. Sure, I've only heard three tracks but I'm not going to let a minor detail like that rain on my parade. So after dusting off my crystal ball, consulting my tarot cards and dialling mystic Meg - here is my pre-release review of "Cannibal":
The opening track is bound to be a generation defining anthem. Ke$ha is known for her subtle, ambiguous lyrics - so this could be about anything but the spirits are telling me it's a metaphor for reinvention set to a hard electro background with a spine tingling chorus. Think Lady Gaga's "Monster" - only 100 times better.
2. We R Who We R
Ke$ha's stunning commentary on gay suicide has already been widely acknowledged as a modern classic and should sweep next year's Grammy awards. There's not a lot to say apart from your faves could never!
I have to admit this Bangladesh produced jam tested my faith in our Queen. Under normal circumstances, I'd suggest Ke$ha leave the urban club bangers for true hood divas like Jessica Mauboy and Willow Smith but after three or four listens I was completely hooked. "Sleazy" (bottom of post) is the hip hop song of the year. This inspiring anthem will provide solace to reformed gold diggers everywhere, while the lyric "beats so phat gonna make me cum" will live on forever. Amazing.
Hmmm, the cards tell me Ke$ha has penned a tune about snorting coke from a toilet seat while being fucked from behind. Either that or it's an alt-country ballad about inflating balloons. You decide.
5. The Harold Song
Obviously a touching tribute to Ian Smith from Neighbours.
6. Crazy Beautiful Life
I'm thinking a cover of Seal's "Crazy" mashed with the Ace of Base classic "Beautiful Life".
7. Grow A Pear
The lazy interpretation of this title is another song about a bad boyfriend who needs to grow a pair of balls and be a man. But that's too obvious for one of the sharpest minds of our times. Rather, I suspect Ke$ha's has written a song about organic farming in a bid to singlehandedly stop global warming. Grow a pear, people!
8. C U Next Tuesday
Originally titled "C.U.N.T.", this song has been doing the rounds for a couple of years now. I'm glad she finally included it on "Cannibal" because it's always been one of my faves - and the closest Ke$ha will probably ever get to a cute, low key semi-acoustic ballad.
9. Animal (Billboard Remix)
The title track of her glorious debut really should have been a single, so I'm glad to see it getting some love here. I'm hoping for a cheesy Almighty/Bimbo Jones-esque remix but knowing how Ke$ha likes to keep things dark and dirty, it will probably sound like a Marilyn Manson track from the 90s.