Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Toy Update - Due To Popular Demand

I love you guys. When you're not rubbishing my love for faceless dance music or hating on my faves, you're spamming my inbox with breathless demands for more Toy Toy. Your wish is my command. I've actually been toying around (pun intended) with the idea of doing a "No Relations" retrospective for months now but I thought I'd tide you over with a quick update on the legendary icon's latest antics. Basically, the high priestess of pop has been giving a master class in publicity whoring. Her first appearance at a shopping mall almost caused a riot. Thousands of Cali Swag fans Toy Soldiers turned out to see our goddess hawk milkshakes with hip hop band Cali Swag District. They apparently have a hit song at the moment (who knew) called "Teach Me How To Dougie" and they kindly taught Toy Toy the dance moves in return for some career advice. No, seriously. The proof is below! After single-handedly plotting Cali Swag's journey to the top of the charts, La Toya hit up a fashion show at Macy's and wowed the paparazzi with her timeless poise and beauty. This is my favourite snap. Poor Brandy. She looks like a withered, old crack whore in comparison to the glorious siren next to her. As her duet partner Monica once sang - don't take it personal. It's just one of dem days!

11 comments:

Dave said...

Oh cool man!!

Can you please teach ME how to dougie??

Anonymous said...

A month ago I was exactly feeling how you are feeling now, in pain, crying, heart broken, and then I found this site saveabreakup.com and I followed their instructions, I had my girlfriend come back to me in no time so fast!! I was so so happy and I'm still very happy, don't give up! I suggest you view the free videos that tell you what to do on saveabreakup.com

The Prophet said...

Whenever I play second life (yes I play second life and I love it) and I hang out at the busty black cock ghetto (that isn't a lie) they have the audio stream hooked up to a hip-hop radio station, and they ALWAYS play that Dougie song. I never knew what it was. They always play these trash hip hop songs like Trey Songz and like 10 million Nicki Minaj songs.

And lol @ Toy going on about how much see's the kids when she was barely even prompted. We ALL saw those poor kids run into Auntie Janets arms at the funeral. That act says more than Toys evil lies ever could!

The Prophet said...

LOL I love Toy's wise advice about staying grounded and studying the icons!

She needs to reopen her physic hotline!

Anonymous said...

lol shes so deluded!

D'luv said...

Brandy needs to retire after basking in the glow of La Toya's restylane-riddled visage. Teach me how to Dougie, Toy!

Sexbox said...

Mike, when is la toya finally startin' over? The wait is killing me!!

Me said...

Toys fabulous knows no bounds!

Mike said...

I think Toy need to teach us all how to Dougie. No word on Startin' Over. I'll believe it's happening when I see it!

Anonymous said...

stunning!

Anonymous said...

great to have toy news, I think she did a new lifting routine?!