Tuesday, August 10, 2010

La Toya's Spanish Triumph!

It's been 15 long years since Toy Toy's last studio album flopped worse than "Bionic" but her reputation as the greatest performer in the history of music grows stronger by the day. Take the latest irrefutable piece of evidence to surface on YouTube. A kindred spirit has just uploaded one of the most fabulous clips I have ever seen (below). Rumours of La Toya's eccentric early 90s TV performances run rife among fans - if anyone has the footage of our Queen covering Patsy Cline's "Crazy" on horseback in Mexico, please email me! - but very few of them ever see the light of day. Count your blessings then that this bravura display is now available for your viewing ecstasy. Filmed for Spanish TV in late 1991 (judging from her nose and the fact she's promoting "No Relations"), Toy rocks España to its very foundations with a stunning medley of hits. She begins with her seminal classic "Playboy" before raising the bar even higher with her #23 Dutch smash "Sexbox". I don't even know where to start. It's one of those things that you really have to see with your own eyes. like the Mona Lisa. But here are some highlights to keep an eye out for:

1. La Toya's breathtaking outfit. I love how she pays tribute to Spain's rich cultural heritage by dressing in a gold lamé matador's jacket. Red roses and a matching cummerbund complete her ravishing ensemble.

2. The hilarious Spanish dancers - who range in size from vertically challenged to positively gigantic. Toy Toy probably found them in a Chueca sauna and took pity. I'm naming them Jordi, Pablo, Fernando and Tony.

3. Toy's fabulously incompetent miming. Keep watching to the very end when the top of her microphone falls off. LOL!

4. Some of the most amazing choreography ever captured on film. The high priestess of pop's incredible ability to recycle Michael's dance moves is genuinely impressive, while the hilarious routine at 4:10 minutes clearly inspired Katie Melua's "The Flood" video. What a thieving skank!

5. The crowd. These classy Spaniards can't get enough of La Toya. They clap, cheer, dance along, give her a standing ovation and beg for more. Spanish TV audiences clearly have impeccable taste!

Brace yourself for 9 minutes of pure, unadulterated bliss. Janet could never!

14 comments:

Miss Halliwell said...

OH! Sexbox! Oh her back door!

That is so damn goood!

Why is this woman not flooding the charts worldwide!

Those dancers are fabulous! Surely they are now performing as a gay boy band somewhere?!

Fabulous!

Becca said...

LMFAO @ Bionic being the new standard of a flop.

Sexbox said...

I am absolutely speechless after watching this....for many many reasons! LOL. Only the Priestess of Pop could hold it together with dancers so tragic and still please a fickle group of Spainards. Her powers of seduction amaze me.

The Prophet said...

Stunning.

Matt said...

ROFL

The scary thing is, i dont think mike is being ironic or sarcastic by praising this hot mess!

michael said...

Amazing. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When is La Toya going to release a cover of Sinitta's Toy Boy?

Mike said...

Matt - I never joke when it comes to Goddess Toy!

Me said...

Beyond Fabulous! Spain got ROCKED! And this explains why I found so many Toy Treasures in Spanish record shops.

Tyler said...

Tony's facial... spasms, are the best thing about this video. At least I think the tall one is Tony.

Poor Pablo.

Andrew said...

Words........do they escape me, or will they simply not do this justice? Either way, they ain't coming to me.

Strangely reminiscent of Britney's euro performances of Womanizer lol Damn Europeans getting all the fab performances.

Wait, words do come. I finally get the chance to say......Ya faves could NEVA! :)

Hidroboy said...

And which one of that uberhomosexual dancers is Jordi? I bet he's the cutest one... except for the fact that there's no cute one...

Martin said...

HOT HOT HOT!! But I must say I do prefer *this* version

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQ7vE0EmOys

The Prophet said...

This is from that interview where she starts crying. It's really sad. Poor Toy Toy...

D'luv said...

I wonder if any of those dancers are still alive?