Monday, June 07, 2010

Kylie Slams Cheryl Cole, Releases Album Megamix & Announces Single Tracklist!

Just when I thought it was impossible to love Kylie more than I already do, she goes and slams that violent criminal from Girls Aloud. Australia's enduring natural beauty took the words right out of my mouth when she said "Cheryl Cole's music doesn't impress me". That's Kylie code for "fuck off, you evil cunt". Respect! My favourite bit is when she only admits to having heard "Fight For The KKK". Cheryl's international flops are clearly beneath this living legend!

In addition to preaching truth about sad pretenders, Kylie unveiled the Australian tracklist for "All The Lovers". We get a bunch of remixes and a video but where are the obligatory B-sides? Min is the Queen of bonus tracks and B-sides, so I'm kind of shocked. Hopefully the UK will get some. Anyway, this little gem will hit stores on the 25th of June. I might have to take the day off work!

1. All The Lovers
2. All The Lovers (WAWA & MMB Anthem Remix)
3. Michael Woods Remix
4. Xxxchange remix
5. All The Lovers Music Video

Last but not least, a 9 and a half minute album megamix hit the net this morning and I still have chills. On the strength of this, "Aphrodite" could well equal the poptastic brilliance of "Fever" and "Light Years". Every song gives me goosebumps. "Get Outta My Way" (already announced as the second single) is a smash, Luciana's "Cupid Boy" is the coolest Kylie has sounded in a decade, "Closer" is just too adorable, "Put Your Hands Up (If You Feel Love)" is club gold and the title track gives me the giggles in the best possible way. My favourite lyric is "I'm fierce and feel alive, I'm a golden girl, I'm Aphrodite". LOL! Give it a listen below. Bring on the 2nd of July!

Oh and why can't the stunning image at the top of the post be the album cover? She looks phenomenal!


The Prophet said...

The album artwork for Aphrodite is the worst album art in the history of pop music.

ALL the pics are so cheesy besides the one that's used in that youtube video.

I was looking through the pics today on and cringing.

Poster Girl said...

Things are always really subject to change, but Lucas Secon (co-writer of "Get Outta My Way") said that he's got a b-side called "Go Hard Or Go Home" on "All The Lovers." It looks like it's by Secon, Daniel Davidsen, Cutfather, and Damon Sharpe (basically the same people behind "Get Outta My Way"). For what it's worth, he also says "Get Outta My Way" is scheduled at the moment as the second single...but these things are always changing, so I'm not counting on it until we hear something official.

Anyway, this album sounds just like Kylie promised: euphoric.

tommie said...

"I'm a golden girl" - it's nice to hear Dannii's much older sister has accepted her spinster future.

Paul said...

Loving the title track. absolutely must be a single.

Loving the CC comments. absolutely must be recorded as a sound bite and made into the next b-side!!

Jump! said...


I thought the same when I saw that pic! How amazing is that image? The megamix is amazing! I love "get outta my way"!!

the writer said...

Pure dance gems alert!

Ro Ro said...

I'm so excited. I love the song and everything i've heard so far. I don't think the artwork is so bad even though it does look like perfume adverts lol.

Justin said...

LMAO Kylie dissing that sad act Cheryl makes me love her even more!

The megamix is indeed amazing! I'd have to say I love all the tracks in it, bring on July!

Jamie_movietrip said...

Love it, especially Get Out Of My Way. I'm glad she's stuck to what she's good at instead of the usual faux R&B 'Gwen Stefani' knock-off's that have plagued the last couple of albums.

daniel said...

hey mike, "Go Hard or Go Home" and "Mighty Rivers" (LOL titles) are the 2 bsides for ATL. "Heartstring" is also a bonus track for Japan. the song "aphrodite" is MAGIC
ps. as much as i'd like to believe kylie hates cheryl, KM recently said the story about being unimpressed by cheryl's music is rubbish (aka damage control!)

Mike said...

Poster Girl - Get Outta My Way is pretty much locked in as the 2nd single. I've heard the remixes! LOL

Daniel - thanks for the heads up. Warner Australia is so rude. I guess it would have cost another 20 cents to licence to UK B-sides. Not that it makes a huge difference because I'll be importing them anyway.

And LOL at "Mighty Rivers"! I hope this isn't a Janet inspired sex ballad about her moist vagina.

Natty said...

MIKEY! I miss you! But I love Aphrodite the song as well. For the somewhat "meh" response I had with 'all the lovers' the songs in the megamix shit all over the single. I hope Kylie opens the tour with 'Aphrodite'

John said...

At first glance, I wasn't sure if the picture at the top was Kylie or Cheryl. That REALLY looks like a Cheryl outfit...just sayin'.

Seth said...

Whre can i order the fabulous australian single???!!

Mike said...


Seth, try ordering it here:

Dmitry said...

I think about all the gay butts that'will be shaking up to Get Outta My Way.
Kylie is a one sexy woman.

inscrutableted said...

The artwork for Aphrodite is brilliant once you realise that thing behind her is a giant vagina. Get it? Goddess of Love? Vaginas?

(It looks like a pair of pillars at first, until you look at the top and bottom.)

By the way, I would think that it's obvious that Kylie thinks little of Cheryl's music, because Kylie makes stirring, brilliant anthems, and Cheryl makes bland crap.

michael said...

I wonder if I'm the the only one who thought of the Made In Heaven video after seeing the picture above.