Friday, May 21, 2010

All The Lovers - Review

I know this review has been a long time coming but I wanted to live with the song for a couple of days before declaring it the greatest thing since "Better Than Her". As it turns out, "All The Lovers" is probably the best pop tune since Matisse revolutionised music as we know it. The Kish Mauve penned, Stuart Price produced gem initially struck me as a little safe but releasing a lead single as soft and pretty as "All The Lovers" is almost an act of rebellion at a time when Lady Gaga and Ke$ha are ruling the charts with their hypersexual slut anthems. Instead of jumping on the latest trend like Madonna, the (ever so slightly) more successful Minogue sister has re-discovered her own sound.

In another singer's hands, the track would be vomit inducing mush but Kylie does wide eyed romance and time worn whimsy better than anyone. In fact, one of the song's greatest accomplishments is its ability to channel something autobiographical. "All The Lovers" is the fitting soundtrack for a perfectly preserved cougar with a well hung Spanish toy boy. Kylie is finally lucky, lucky, lucky in love and the song captures that euphoria perfectly. The lyrics couldn't be more simple but they tap into something that anyone who has been around the block a couple (of hundred) times can identify with and Stuart Price serves up a brilliant smorgasbord of delicate bleeps and beeps to accompany them. Given all that, I wonder why the song makes me want to cry. It just seems inexplicably bittersweet. "All The Lovers" appears to capture the final moments of lovesick insanity before reality kicks in and you realise you've fallen for a lying man whore with the moral fibre of a dog on heat but I could just be projecting.

As much as I adore the song, I do have some criticisms. Well, one big one. I really hope I'm wrong but I don't think "All The Lovers" is a particularly smart lead single from a commercial standpoint. Kylie needed to steal her sister's crown as the undisputed Queen of Clubs instead of returning with what is essentially an electronic Mother's Day anthem. Fans have likened the song to "I Believe In You" and "The One" but neither of those set the charts on fire outside of England. I can't help but feel Kylie is restricting herself to spinsters and ageing homosexuals on this outing. And that's ok. I'm beyond caring about chart positions. As long as the music is this good, the diva can happily become Australia's own Sophie Ellis Flopster and churn out amazing pop tunes that no one buys. Legally. That aside, "All The Lovers" is pretty close to perfect.

10/10

20 comments:

tommie said...

When I first heard it I thought it was a 7/10 song, but the more I listen to it the more shit it becomes.

Unmemorable and unremarkable.

4/10.

The Prophet said...

I was obsessed with this when it leaked but now im kinda over it and had completely forgotten about it until you emailed me with this post.

The video will probably get me back into it though.

The Prophet said...

Oh, I basically co-sign Tommie, but I thought it was like 9/10, but yes I'm really getting over it...

Ro Ro said...

I really loved it when it leaked and still liten to it heavily. Love the new Kylie! 10/10 all the way.

Jump! said...

Poor Kylie has the most critical bitches for fans! Had she brought a RedOne sounding jam fans would have cried "wannabe" or "copycat". If she had gone urban-lite/rhianna-esque route fans would have grumbled and screamed "Too American!". So what did Kylie do? She did a very Kylie album and everyone complains she did song that sounded so stereotypically Kylie.

I think "All the lovers" is a great lead single, perfectly capture the euphoria we have on the dance floor or in love. I give Kylie a 9/10 and I'm excited to hear "Aphrodite".

tommie said...

I'm not complaining at the sound as such - in fact, it does make me excited for the album - but at the same time I could care less about "All the Lovers", the single.

Watch it chart at #4 and everyone to start hating on it.

daniel said...

the song is flawless. as much as i love kylie's music i'd still like to see it do well chart-wise. but for some reason i can't fight the feeling that SOMEHOW alejandro is going to beat ATL to the top (even though it's the 3rd single from a highly successful album). gaga's just unstoppable now because her fans are crazy and download each of her songs multiple times. despite all this, i can't fucking wait for aphrodite. most anticipated album EVER.

John said...

I went in the other direction on this...started off as feeling it was okay but not great, and now it's just epicly epic. You're right about first single positioning, but this is a hell of a lot better than "Two Hearts" for a lead-off.

undisco_me said...

It sounds as limp as fishing out a soggy tampon.

Kylie kidding herself about ANOTHER Mr Right is the only thing remotely entertaining about it.

I have also learned that I like a tidy bush. Smile Kylie had better remember to floss!

Oliver said...

This really is just a fantastic single. At first I thought it was nice but nothing special but the more I listen to it the more amazing it feels. It just captures an emotion so well and is such feel good music. Production is flawless and it all just feels right. This is exactly the sort of music I had hoped she would come out with, two thumbs up!

Peibols said...

I totally love it. Yes, I think this sounds quite like I Believe In You. But the chorus is not as catchy as other (like In My Arms) but it'll be good on charts, I hope. Not #1, of course.

On the other side... did you hear she has made an Spanish version of it?
You'll love it. I already hate it before listened to it.

Los Amores.

Anonymous said...

i really like the song. it definitely has the "sickeningly sweet, almost gives you a head rush" feel to it, and the middle eight is unreal. i wish the whole song was like that, now there would be a number one hit.

oh, and not just aging homosexuals like this song! young homosexuals like it too :)

Me said...

It SHOULD be beyond fabulousbut unfortunatly I find it falls completely flat - and I place the blame for that firmly on the shoulders of the VILE egotistical talentless turd Le C*nt. That moronic knob jockey only knows how to suck the life and any hint of emotion from even the most emotive track, and is only happy when the artists output is another one of his bland forgettable uninspiring shitefests. Old Whore is the perfect example - the poopoo has never been that good at expressing emotion, but there is no vitriol in her attackt on fuckwit Bush, no yearning in Forbidden Love (compared to the haunting and far superiour BS track of the same name) and Gimme Gimme Gimme sounds like an indifferent drag queen oding on Prozac...

My only hope for this album is that Steve Anderson (of all people given his penchant for mutilating classics to make them coma inducing ballads or ramming FF BIR Mix into them) obliterates any trace of the pencil dicked one for the tour.

Mike said...

In future, I'm going to refrain from writing long winded reviews in my half hour lunch break because I don't think I expressed myself very well. At all.

I'm not hating on the song or suggesting she went down the RedOne route. Part of what makes it special is that it's so unlike anything else out there at the moment. I just don't think it's the ideal single - more like the best album track ever recorded. Fingers crossed that I'm wrong. I hope it's #1 for 10 weeks.

Pablo - don't play with me! Is she really doing a Spanish version?

*dies*

Jay - I take it you're not a Stuart Price fan then?

tommie said...

All the Lovers, the album track, is completely passable, but for All the Lovers - the LEAD single from a new Kylie album - I think it's quite weak.

From what I understand though, it's the most "Kylie" song on the album which might be why they picked it.

Miss Halliwell said...

I adore it. Something about it gives me goosebumps. It's a perfectly crafted pop song and i have high expectations for the album!

Justin said...

Loved the track since the first time I heard it. Reminds me of IBIY meets The One but that is hardly a bad thing at all. Looking forward to Aphrodite, I have pre-ordered the special edition and vinyl! <3

mol said...

Sweet but rather boring song to me. However massively better than Two Hearts if you compare first singles. How that one happened I will never know. Or how Cherry Bomb got demoted to a mere B-side. That one's on my top 10 Kylie ever.

manuel said...

Even if I've been following Kylie since 1988 I no not like this song. As the lead single for this new album I think it's weak... something already heard. I'm sure Kylie just wanted to say thanks to her gay community by releasing this single.

Paulski said...

Never really been a fan but this is just pure class! Really agree about the bittersweet beauty thing.. The backing vocals really heighten this mood and the whole sound comes off as really timeless and elegant.. Seeing kylie perform this stood in a fountain of 'lovers' on her amazing tour makes my heart burst.. Really really lovely stuff