Sunday, March 28, 2010

Toy Toy's Latest Triumph

Toy Toy has put the rest of the music world to shame. Yet again. While tragic nobodies like Jennifer Lopez and Britney Spears hawk their cheap perfumes and tatty wares to the masses, the thinking man's Jackson has just signed on as the face of the world's most expensive hand cream. Take that, haters! As far as I'm concerned this is a match made in heaven. Clearly the first thing that pops into your mind when you think of eternal youth and beauty is La Toya. She hasn't aged a day since Reagan was in office - thanks to a strict diet and no exercise according to her latest interview. Yes, adoring fans, Toy has given away some of her highly prized beauty secrets in a bid to promote Alessandro's Dream Cream (bottom)!

This video has me completely hypnotised. I can't remember the last time I've seen so much glamour captured on film. La Toya looks as ravishing as ever but she's almost shown up by the German stunner sitting next to her. As endlessly fascinated as I was to learn our Queen's hangover cure, the most exciting thing about the interview is confirmation that the Duchess of Dance will release a new album THIS YEAR! Admittedly, she's been saying that since 2002 but her manager correctly points out that 2010 marks the 30th anniversary of her debut and there are rumours that Teddy Riley has just been hired as the head of music development at Toy Toy's incredibly useless record label. Given his recent collaboration with Lady Gaga (Teddy produced "Teeth") this would be quite a coup for Ja-Tail. I'm extremely sceptical but stranger things have happened. Like La Toya being hired as the face of a luxury cosmetics company!

19 comments:

Magical Froggy said...

I've already whored that interview video to all who will watch it. The tantalising news about the prospect of Toy releasing new cutting edge anthems gives me reason to go on living... :worthy:

D'luv said...

After watching that video -- seven times -- I just keep wondering how much money was spent on all that bad plastic surgery between those two stretched-out hags?

John said...

LaToya has really upped her beauty quotient. I look at her, and I'm simply stunned by those cheek bones that would house a flock of pigeons with no effort whatsoever. Couldn't they have picked an interviewer that knew the questions in advance, rather than reading off of the script?

coapco said...

The Teddy Riley rumor isn't a rumor at all! It came straight from Jeffre Phillips' mouth last week when I spoke to him. As a matter of fact, Ja-Tail re-launched their website this week and lo and behold, Teddy's picture and bio are there.

Also, a film La Toya wrote in 2000, titled "Groupies", is also in production through Ja-Tail Films.

tommie said...

I need her Dream Cream in my life! I'll try it next time I masturbate.

D'Luv - Toy is a natural beauty. Unlike you, she is beautiful inside and out.

tommie said...

OMG! There seems to be a new track on the Ja-Tail homepage:

http://jatail.com/home.html

It appears to be mostly instrumental?

tommie said...

I've just clicked around on the homepage and OMG - if everything happens then 2010 will be Toy's year!

Not only is she working on her new opus, but also on a movie called Groupies, a reality show entitled Simply La Toya and a book called Startin' Over!! I'm so happy I could die right now.

undisco_me said...

Too bad the blonde one isn't a singer - I love her getting defensive in German about plastic surgery. La Toya looks 45 next to her!

Johnny D said...

I am off to Cologne in August, my first purchase is dream cream.

Apparently Janet is furious as she was just about to launch her own German line of flavoured anal lube.

Mike said...

Coapco - Thanks for the Teddy Riley confirmation. I wonder if this means Toy Toy will go electro dance on her 8 years in the making comeback album!

Tommie - I'm dying. An album, book, TV series and luxury hand cream. 2010 is the year of La Toya!

And don't even joke, Johnny. I bet Janet is lubing up her extensive dildo collection with Dream Cream at this very moment...

tommie said...

The best part is when you go into pages like "management" and they have pictures of Beyoncé and Mariah Carey - LOL!

Me said...

Toytastic!

D.Ho said...

OMG!!! The blond chick next to Toy Toy does look like Lady Gaga 20 years later doesn't she?

Shelby said...

Mike, I just LOVE what you say about the legendary, talented La Toya, I'm behind her 100% and it's glad to see someone who talks positive about her unlike most Jackson fans do, that's why I read this blog.
Keep us updated on all things Toy, cause 2010 is gonna be her year...that is if she releases Startin' Over...!
30 Years of celebrating the Queen Of Pop!

Mike said...

AMEN Shelby! Fingers crossed that Toy Toy finally starts over in 2010. I'll have to put together some kind of career retrospective to celebrate this amazing landmark anniversary!

Shelby said...

She's already off to a great start, they should let her perform Do The Salsa on Dancing With The Stars, that would give her MAJOR publicity for whatever she's working on now. And because season 10 is sorta boring me this year, it'd be great to see the Dutchess Of Dance get up on stage again! Usually I don't listen to music such as the salsa, but of course, La Toya's songs are hard to resist!

Shelby said...

Oh and not to forget that she's tooken on most genres of music (funk, pop, r&b, dance, reggae, ballad, country, singing in different languages, etc.) that being the reason she's the real Queen.
Janet ain't got nothin' on that!

Sabrina said...

I love toy, i'm looking forward to her future projects and if i had enough money i'd buy this cream.

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