Thursday, February 18, 2010

Sour 7 - Disappreciation Thread

Mutya gives her verdict on "Sweet 7"

It's a sad day for pop music when the new Sugababes' album is only twice as good as the last Girls Aloud offering. Once upon a time you could bank on The Babes making their rivals look even more tragic than usual. While the racist and her talentless friends churned out the same old shit year after year, Keisha & co continued to mix up their sound and brought some much needed class and dignity to the charts - regardless of the seemingly endless line up changes. The ship really should have sunk with Mutya's departure but the group somehow managed to survive without the realest girl in pop. "Catfights and Spotlights" was disappointing but eventually grew on me and I thought "Get Sexy" was a good omen for their 7th album. The ladies seemed back on track until Keisha was shown the door and it became blindingly obvious that she was the glue keeping the group together all these years. As far as I'm concerned the Sugababes officially died when Jade Ewen signed on. I could deal with horsey Heidi and crazy Amelle as replacements but a floptastic Eurovision failure with the charisma of a burst colostomy bag? Was Mel Blatt too busy?

Despite my disillusion with the brand, I was still genuinely excited about "Sweet 7". The line up of producers is mouth watering. RedOne, Stargate, Fernando Garibay and Toby Gad have created some of the best songs of all time. The Sugababes might be a complete farce but it's impossible to get the music wrong with all these heavyweights, right? Apparently not. I'm a huge fan of American pop but this album represents everything wrong with it - recycled beats, generic lyrics and soulless mid-tempo ballads. There is an obvious hierachy when it comes to working with the A List and the Sugababes got Beyoncé and Rihanna's hand me downs. Hell, I think they got the shit Jordin Sparks rejected! It's easy to point the finger at the producers or the record company for ruthlessly pursuing the US market but other British acts have effortlessly jumped on board the American pop bandwagon (see my recent posts on Livvi Franc and Tania Foster for starters), so the blame has to lie with Heidi, Amelle and Jade. They simply simply don't click as a group and are completely out of touch with their fanbase. The girls need to change their name or pull the plug. "Sweet 7" is the final nail in the Sugababes' rotting coffin.

I'm not going to give the album a proper track by track review because I find it too depressing. However, here is my cheat sheet to "Sweet 7":

Get Sexy

A decent lead single that sounds infinitely better when you're off your face in a club. The song will always hold a special place in my heart due to the band's surprise appearance on Pop Trash Addicts to promote it. Their hints on getting sexy (below) have been a constant source of amusement to me.

Wear My Kiss

"Wear My Kiss" is the best track on the album by a very wide margin. Fernando Garibay has been on a tear recently - delivering killer tracks for Lady GaGa and Whitney - and he continues to impress. I have a feeling this is going to be a massive flop but it's the only song on the album that Version 2.0 would have touched with a ten foot pole. Make sure you download
the glorious WAWA remix from iTunes. It's one of my favourite tunes of 2010. Brilliant.

About A Girl

Keisha's version > Jade's version. But they're both RedOne on autopilot.

Wait For You

This doesn't quite scale the same heights as "Wear My Kiss" but it's a decent slice of uptempo dance-pop with a surprisingly cute chorus. It just sounds suspiciously similar to Lady GaGa's vastly superior
"No Way" - a song Fernando previously submitted for "The Fame Monster".

Thank You For The Heartbreak

The Sugababes go electro with a little help from Stargate. Sounds amazing? It isn't.

Miss Everything (Featuring Sean Kingston)

A three and a half minute lesson in how to be a gold digging skank. Siobhán is lying in the foetal position somewhere clutching her copy of The Female Eunuch begging Jesus for forgiveness.

She's A Mess

This unveiled attack on Mutya is completely unnecessary. It's not her fault "she's sweating bullets" and "her heels are broke". You try dragging
those butt implants around the club! Mut Mut will have her revenge!

Give It To Me Now

The clown behind Cheryl Cole's "Parachute" was responsible for this mess. Enough said.

Crash & Burn

OK, I like this. Toby Gad's ballads have a way of sucking me in - particularly Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry" and Bey's "If I Were A Boy". "Crash & Burn" isn't in the same league as those stunning anthems but it is lovely and one of the few songs on "Sweet 7" that showcases the fact that these women can actually sing. Unlike Girls Aloud.

No More You

Stargate's ability to recycle beats should be acknowledged by the Guinness Book Of World Records. I swear I've heard this song 500 times before and I'm pretty sure that almost all of them have been just as shit.

Sweet & Amazing

When I saw the title I expected a much deserved tribute to Keisha but it's just another mid-tempo ballad - albeit an unexpectedly cute one. This is worth a listen.

Little Miss Perfect

Trite, lame and embarrassing. A fitting conclusion to a diabolical album.

RATING: 3/10

R.I.P Sugababes - thanks for the memories!


Paul said...

The highlights are definitely Wear My kiss (though i'm already bored of that before it even got started) and I'll Wait For You. The rest, other than the singles, I just can't get into :/

Copito said...

I'm in love with Jade since her bunny jumps in the Wear My Kiss video, so to me Jade >>> Keisha.

About the video: Keisha STFU! The other babes seem scared to open their mouths in presence of evil Keisha. Now, with Jade, they're free and friends.

tommie said...

3/10? You're too generous. It's seriously the worst pop album of 2010!

Anonymous said...

Oh people.. seriously!! C'mon.. it's obvious that KEISHA was a complete BITCH 100%..

Siobhan left, Mutya left - then it's a fact that Heidi and Amelle quit the band because they could'n't work with her anymore - so the record company sacked Keisha... DONE!!

The NEW babes with Jade - ROCK!!! Best ever... Her voice live is AMAZING! The problem with the Babes since day one, was obviously Keisha.. LOVING THE NEW ALBUM!! SOOOOOO much better than that last offering.. LONG LIVE THE SUGABABES!! Jade - I love you... Bring on the singles and new album and tour!!

tommie said...

So? Keisha could've been the biggest bitchface in pop, it doesn't change the fact that her voice was the only distinctive thing that made them "The Sugababes". If the girls didn't get along, they should've just done the dignified thing and split up after the Catfights disaster. Now they're just bringing "beating a dead horse" to new heights.

PS - Mike, have you heard Cascada's latest GaGa sound-a-like:

Jafet M. Denegri said...

Hey Mike check out my blog, a new mexican pop trash queen is ready to storm the charts!!!
Hope u like it

Mike said...

I'm disgusted by these sad Jade fans! Without a single original member the band is no more. These three talentless whores should just re-name themselves so fans can remember the real Babes without wanting to retch.

Tommie, I love "Pyromania"!

And Jafet - Maya is amazing! I'm in love with her fabulousness. Thanks for the tip.

Jump! said...

"sweet 7" is a train wreck of a project. I don't really care if Keisha was a bitchface, maybe that was the edge the babes had over other acts. If you come the Keisha and jade versions of "about a girl" the jade version sounds like bad karaoke.

Mike, you may be my fave Aussie fantasy bounce toy but I must call you out for being so kind to "wear my kiss"- truly a sad, sad track with an even worse video. Heidi looks like a cow, Amelle looks worse and Jade's ponytail is laughably bad.

There are no good UK girl groups at present. Sugababes (RIP) Girls Aloud (MIA) and The Saturdays (on life support:beep, beep, beeeeeeeeep!) Maybe now id the time for a Vanilla comeback?

tommie said...

Jade sounds like the stereotypical girl who technically can sing, but is dull as dishwater. I just can't believe that a brand that produced something as cool and slinky as "Overload" has come out with this overproduced mess!

It'll definitively be interesting to see how Hear This Piss performs next week and Sour 7 does the following weeks. I hope it flops!

In happier news, at least "Overload" won FlopPop's Girl Group Survivor. Small victory!

Mike said...

"Wear My Kiss" is fun. However, I hope you realise that my praise is mostly for the WAWA remix which lifts a good song to the next level. I still think it will flop miserably.

As for UK girlbands, I don't mind Mini Viva and then there's the amazing Vogue and City Girls!

ippy said...

Great review! Absolute agree with most things you've said. Kinda hope this album flops.

One thing I had to share:

Well done, smh.

D'luv said...

I've completely avoided listening to this for the past two weeks, but after reading this...well, it's like a car crash. You kind of have to get out of your own vehicle every now and then and go F the police man cleaning up the mess. Shall play while I fold laundry.

Really do miss Keisha and Mutya.

Me said...

Splendababes are crap! Bring back Mutya! Bring back Keisha! Bring back Shitobhan! Bring back the SUGABABES!

Jade seems nice enough and has a decent voice, but together with "nice" Heidi and used to be a cheap trashy chav but is now a "nice" girl Ass smelle, the girls have no edge - and that edge and moodiness (alongside the runmours of fighting, bitching and backstage bust ups) is what made the Babes interesting when they released stinkers like Caught In A Moment, New Year and Round Round.

Get Sexy is one of their best tracks, but everything since has been so tediously bland and cookie cutter it could have been Hoez Afoul or the SHAT-TURD-days "singing" them - Wear My Kiss is a case in point as it sounds like half the shite on the radio by talentless girl blands.

Sugababes RIP 2000-2009

Sexbox said...

Awww...I feel like everyone wants to hate on this album simply because of the new line-up. The only thing special about Keisha was her big ass forehead. I don't miss her at all although it is odd to think none of the original members remain...BUT people don't give Heidi enough credit. She's been there since album 2. Siobitch bailed out almost 10 years ago. She isn't even relevant anymore in my opinion as far as the Sugababes go.

Having said that ihave only heard the 3 singles thus far so i will get back to you once I get the full album!

The Prophet said...

This album is a piece of shit, and the songs that were half decent sounded better with Keisha.

Jade is a loser just like the other two.

Mutya Siohan forever!

tommie said...

SexBox - the thing is that "Sugababes" used to be a bit better than everyone else. They had a bit more class, a bit more thought put into it and most importantly, had a personal touch.

Sour 7 is literally an album that any loser could record. And three losers did. It's all second-rate US pop that even Nicole Scherwhatever would reject.

Adem With An E said...

Incredibly spot on review. The four songs I liked on Keisha's demo (About A Girl, Wait For You, Wear My Kiss, TYFTH) all sound like absolute turge now.

I want to feel sorry for Jade, but then I really, really don't.