Monday, February 22, 2010

The Day The Music Died

So I come home after a hard weekend night on the tiles and decide to look at the charts before passing out on the lounge to the soothing sounds of Kelly Llorenna only to be confronted by an ABOMINATION. The evil troll from Girls Aloud somehow squirmed her way into our national top 10 with "3 Words". My faith in humanity has been shaken to the core. Are people mistakenly downloading this anal wart of a song because they usually associate will.i.am with good music or did the Chk Chk Boom Girl start a grass roots campaign to launch her hero's antipodean career? I'm shocked and appalled by this travesty of taste and justice. We have talentless fame whores a plenty in Australia without needing to import them. Hell, Shakaya has more urban credibility than this skank and will.i.am put together! What's next? Jade Ewen climbing to #1 with "My Man"? Jesus take the wheel and steer us towards real talent. Like this.

19 comments:

tommie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tommie said...

We gotta fight against racism! Ban Cheryl Foul from existing!

Fernando said...

Don't let them guide you, don't put that stuff inside you!

Cyril said...

3 words is so boring. I don't know what Will I am is working with this talentless bitch (apart of the cash..).

Did u see her horrible miming performance on the brits ? It was a crime against dance music and poor Robin S?

And the nightmare isn't over with her horrible parachute single climbing on the UK charts..

rcLoy said...

I can't stop laughing. LOL.
Her stuff is pretty bad. I really don't get why she is so famous, apart from her stuff from Girls Aloud.

The Prophet said...

OMG wow is she top 10 here?

*goes and checks*

Why is Jason DeRulo #1? Terrible.

I love the song 3 Words but I hate the album. Only two songs I like are 3 words and Fight For This Love.

I like Cheryl as a person though. She has a horrid voice but she's really nice and a good performer and dancer. I hope her second album is good because I want to like her but I can't until she releases an album with more than two good songs.

John said...

Do they give you a free Dannii track with a Cheryl download? That's the only way I can explain this.

fer said...

i actually like this song. even with tedious will.i.am in it.
but i swear i haven't bought it and can't understand cheryl success at all.

The Prophet said...

She's the new Kylie, but without any of the good music.

She's a better dancer and performer than Kylie though, and she's way prettier and has far better style.

She stole the show at the Brits!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9yKNAPjpfg

I love her faux hip-hop dancing!

undisco_me said...

Her vocals couldn't sound more muffled if Ashley had Fight For This Love as his ringtone going off up his you know what.

Cheryl can't even bare to be in the same video as a black person she has to have a spit-screen, what a racist bitch.

The Prophet said...

I can't believe I said she stole the show at the Brits. I forgot about Florence & Dizzee, they were the best. Cheryl's performance was still epic though I love her.

I'm dying for her to make a good album so I can stan for her. I want her to lip sync more though because she can't sing.

fer said...

i just read cheryl has left Ashley via SMS. i can't wait for second album with all lyrics and titles in textese. back to chavvy roots.

Anonymous said...

What do you mean 'back'?

Ken said...

I hate Cheryl's voice live. I just don't know why.

And yes, 3 Words going number 1 is kind of catastrophic. It's a nightmare song.

Jamie said...

Poor Australia!! I hate the bitch and cant stand the way that the majority of british gays froth at the mouth for her!! I was horrified that she raped the Rowetta/Robin S club classic at last week's Brits. Is it any wonder Ashley Cole goes sniffing around for pussy else where!?

Me said...

I knew Australians had lost any sense of good taste somewhere around 2003 when they decided to become mini-Yanks, but for a talentless convicted racist to chart... how VILE!

Did the sympathy from her forcing her husband to sex text "beauties" actually work beyond excusing the talentless trollops miming at the BRITs - still given that the Aussies bought DULLta's sympathy seeking hook, line & sinker its not that surprising.

tommie said...

Jennifer Lopez - certified FLOP!

http://music-mix.ew.com/2010/02/22/jennifer-lopez-dropped-sony-epic/

Christian Stovitz said...

LOL
actually 3 Words is one of the only 3 good songs of that boring album imho.

D'luv said...

Australia has been shamed twice in one week -- Cheryl's chart tragedy and Whitney's hookerpussy warblefest.