Friday, October 16, 2009

La Toya's Ode To Janet

Whenever I'm feeling down, I play some La Toya and the world instantly feels a bit brighter. This week I've been pumping Toy Toy's 1986 triumph "Imagination". The album was a massive flop (even by the Pope of Pop's low standards) but I love it to bits - particularly the calypso-tastic "On A Night Like This" and the dubiously titled "Boys Got Somethin' Girls Ain't Got". In a strange coincidence, my friend and regular Pop Trash contributor Magical Froggy has just put the finishing touches to a stunning video for the album's most infamous track. "Baby Sister" is notorious among Toy Soldiers and Janatics as La Toya's musical swipe at her much less talented sister Janet. While not as bitter as Jermaine's fuck you note to Michael (1991's "Word To The Badd"), the song still packs a punch. The line "you used to love me til you met my baby sister" takes on a whole new meaning when you consider the song was released in the same year that "Control" turned Janet into a superstar and I wouldn't be surprised if the lyrics about man stealing and back stabbing were also based on fact given Manita Ho's uncontrollable vagina! However, "Baby Sister" is more than just a novelty hit. It's a shiny piece of pop perfection with gorgeous 80s synths and a perky little chorus. The song was also a critical smash winning the Outstanding Song Award at the 16th Annual World Popular Song Festival in Japan. Take that, Toy haters! I think MF's video (below) perfectly captures the essence of the song. My favourite bit is Janet standing outside McDonalds and Joe's cameo at the end. Enjoy!


John said...

You realize that this video doesn't flatter EITHER sister, right?

Janets Lypo Leftovers said...

Beyond Fabulous!

JanFAT camping outside McD's until opening time is something I wouldn't put past the bucketed one...

undisco_me said...

Whoever made that video is a GENIUS!

(Please do one with Dannii, Cheryl and Sophie Amogbokpa)

Chicago_Sexbox said...

I LOVE it!!!!!!!!! Interesting bit of trivia, "Baby Sister" was originally recored in 1984 by Janice Marie Johnson (former half of disco duo A Taste Of Honey).

Nasty G said...

Classic! Awesome vid! This was my first Toy album. And thanks Chicago Sexbox for the info!! I had to look up Janice Marie's album ASAP and I found it, if anyone wants to download it to hear the original version!!

Toy's version is superior by far!

Jamie_movietrip said...

That video is amazing, well done Froggy!

Mike said...

I know "He's A Pretender" is a cover (someone please send me the original!) but I had no idea "Baby Sister" had been done before. Toy must have really connected with the lyrics! Thanks for the link, Grant. I can't wait to check out Janice's version.

tommie said...

Like Janet could fit in tight blue jeans anyway! I think this song was dedicated to Michael <3

The Prophet said...


Baby Sister was already recorded before, just showing Toy's lack of talent.

I love how you say that Janet is less talented when Toy is singing a leftover track from some no name Janice Marie, whilst Janet was writing and co-producing her classic CONTROL.

I'm not sure if you people here know anything about Control because it actually qualifies as good music and we all know that nobody here has any taste, so I'll give you people a little lesson to jog your pea brains.

It's actually ranked #86 on the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame top 200 definitive albums of ALL TIME.

It sold over 14 million copies and is considered one of the most influential R&B albums ever made.

Oh, and Janet can sing, dance, produce, and write better than Toy. She's also a lot prettier, and classier to.

Janet didn't have to strip off for Playboy like that slut Toy. Toy said Jack made her do it, yet she did it twice and seemed quite willing in the accompanying porn video. I'm surprised that she wasn't ashamed of her horrid body and facial features though, which have been disfigured by constant surgical procedures in Toys constant quest to look like her sister Jan. I cringe every time I see that gigantic gap between her silicone rock breasts.

Magical Froggy said...

The Prophet, you are seriously going the right way for getting put in check.


The Prophet said...

Sorry if you can't handle the truth Froggy.

Not all of us live in the land of no taste.

Anonymous said...

I never heard of Janice Marie's version until now. La Toya perfected it.

High Inergy's "He's a Pretender"

I'm always amused by the venom La Toya inspires in Jan trolls. It doesn't matter how many statistics you quote or how much bile you spew in Toy's direction. La Toya will always be the more talented sister so get over it. Who cares if Jan is more commercial? Quality always trumps quantity. La Toya is the Four Seasons to Jan's McDonalds. Consider yourself ROCKED!

Johnny D said...

Someone needs to GET CORRECT.

I am a massive Janet fan, but if it wasn't for being anally double penetrated by Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, all we'd have gotten was those first 2 dodgy albums that even janet disowns.

Was janet a prominent star in the We Are The World video? No? La Toya was.

Janet was probably at home squatting over a buttplug while eating fried chicken. La Toya was trying to save the world, and still is.

Mike said...

Janice's version is great but Toy really took things to the next level.

And Anon - thanks so much for "He's A Pretender"! I love it! Toy Toy is the queen of random disco covers.

Poor delusional Prophet. As if "Control" is more influential than "Imagination"! La Toya's aluminium selling opus continues to inspire a generation of international superstars like RuPaul and Jeffre Star, while "Control" is only remembered for the highly ironic (given Jan's raging libido) "Let's Wait Awhile".

The Prophet said...

Actually I happen to be a La Toya fan, I was just fighting fire with fire.

Who are you to say that Janatics spew venom at La Toya? I'm the only fan that even knows who the hell La Toya is. Janet fans couldn't care less about her, I just find it hilarious when I come to this blog and see hate on Jan.

And what do you mean Janet disowned her first two albums? She performed songs from them on her last tour you moron! And those two albums are better than anything La Toya ever did.

Sorry, but I'd like clarification on how Toy is better than Jan. I'm not fighting, I'm dead serious.

Janet is a writer, producer, dancer, and award winning actress.

And Toy is what?

Neither of them can sing very well but even Janet can out sing Toy.

I guess a stupid bunch of queens like you prefer Toy because she's a desperate tragic camp flop that resembles a drag queen, but don't get it twisted and try to pretend that she has more talent than Janet.

Oh and Janet wasn't featured in the We Are the World video because she was too busy selling over a 100 million records, scoring 10 number one singles, racking up consecutive #1 albums, being nominated for Academy awards and more.

Toy even accused her own flesh and blood of molesting children, then used him once he died for publicity.

She's pathetic, just like all of you. Get your facts straight next time.

Magical Froggy said...

And I thought I needed to get out more...!

Johnny D said...

The Janatic venom! It burns!

I love the way people accuse the delightful La Toya for using Michael's death for publicity and for performing "Wanna be Startin Somethin" on her sellout tour of Eastern Europe - YET when Janet dances to Scream at that awards ceremony it's an "emotional tribute" - which happens conveniently just before releasing her greatest hits!