It's been three long months since the high priestess of pop last graced Pop Trash Addicts and I'm starting to have serious withdrawals. People always think I'm being ironic when I write about La Toya but I honestly can't imagine life without her fabulous flops. Over the past few years I've paid tribute to most of them with one glaring exception - Toy Toy's stunning 1987 duet with Japanese "superstar" Jed. Say what you like about the thinking man's Jackson but you have to admit it takes a special talent to sing out of tune in two languages simultaneously! "Yes, I'm Ready" isn't La Toya's finest moment but it definitely ranks as one of the funniest.
"Yes, I'm Ready" was unleashed on the unsuspecting Japanese public in early 1987, not long after Toy's infamous duet with Cerrone. You think she would have learnt her lesson after that (admittedly fabulous) debacle but I'm pretty sure the Duchess of dance was just happy to be working. There's not a lot I can tell you about La Toya's foxy duet partner - Jed appears to have been a complete nobody. In fact, as far as I can tell, "Yes, I'm Ready" was his first and last recording. The poor guy obviously decided to quit while he was ahead! If anybody has any information on this international man of mystery, please get in touch.
As for the song, it's a surprisingly faithful cover of Barbra Mason's classic 60s pop hit - only with the occasional verse sung in Japanese! Toy Toy's pronunciation apparently leaves a lot to be desired but she gets through it with her dignity somewhat intact. As for Jed, I'm guessing he's not a native speaker either. The result is one hell of an amusing trainwreck. However, it's not all bad. I love the toygasmic chorus and the minimal production allows you to hear La Toya's beautiful voice in all its exquisite glory. If you think you can cope with this much fabulousness check out the magic of "Yes, I'm Ready" below (you might have to press the button twice):
Yes, I'm Ready
In another toytastic development, fans have created a petition to get "Startin' Over" released. The album has been gathering dust for almost 7 years, so I think Dannii has a better chance of scoring a worldwide smash hit than Toy's opus has of seeing the inside of a record store. Life as a Toy Soldier is never easy!