Friday, June 19, 2009

La Toya's Japanese Duet

It's been three long months since the high priestess of pop last graced Pop Trash Addicts and I'm starting to have serious withdrawals. People always think I'm being ironic when I write about La Toya but I honestly can't imagine life without her fabulous flops. Over the past few years I've paid tribute to most of them with one glaring exception - Toy Toy's stunning 1987 duet with Japanese "superstar" Jed. Say what you like about the thinking man's Jackson but you have to admit it takes a special talent to sing out of tune in two languages simultaneously! "Yes, I'm Ready" isn't La Toya's finest moment but it definitely ranks as one of the funniest.

"Yes, I'm Ready" was unleashed on the unsuspecting Japanese public in early 1987, not long after Toy's infamous duet with Cerrone. You think she would have learnt her lesson after that (admittedly fabulous) debacle but I'm pretty sure the Duchess of dance was just happy to be working. There's not a lot I can tell you about La Toya's foxy duet partner - Jed appears to have been a complete nobody. In fact, as far as I can tell, "Yes, I'm Ready" was his first and last recording. The poor guy obviously decided to quit while he was ahead! If anybody has any information on this international man of mystery, please get in touch.

As for the song, it's a surprisingly faithful cover of Barbra Mason's classic 60s pop hit - only with the occasional verse sung in Japanese! Toy Toy's pronunciation apparently leaves a lot to be desired but she gets through it with her dignity somewhat intact. As for Jed, I'm guessing he's not a native speaker either. The result is one hell of an amusing trainwreck. However, it's not all bad. I love the toygasmic chorus and the minimal production allows you to hear La Toya's beautiful voice in all its exquisite glory. If you think you can cope with this much fabulousness check out the magic of "Yes, I'm Ready" below (you might have to press the button twice):

Yes, I'm Ready


In another toytastic development, fans have created a petition to get "Startin' Over" released. The album has been gathering dust for almost 7 years, so I think Dannii has a better chance of scoring a worldwide smash hit than Toy's opus has of seeing the inside of a record store. Life as a Toy Soldier is never easy!

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love la toya!! Shes even hotter than Janet! :D

tommie said...

Yes, I'm Ready is such a mystery! I actually dug out the 7" to try to see if "Jed" at least has a last name (he doesn't), but I did however find out that the one who did the instrumentation on this moved on to do music on Sonic 2. I think this might also be her last release under Joe Jackson management...

Toy Toy only works with the best, obviously.

ULoveLaToya said...

I've always thought "Jed" seemed very similar to the "Jeffrey" who got up and danced with La Toya in her Sizzling Spectacular from Reno!

Martin said...

I love your Latoya posts. I was introduced to the mind blowing sextacy of Toy Toy through this very blog and my life has never been the same since! I still remember laying eyes upon that infamous "wigged out rocking horse" shot and thinking "I NEED to know more about this stunning goddess...". Without your constant toy entries I'd be shambling through life totally unaware of such hot gems as "Do the Salsa" and "Hot Potato". Keep up the amazing work....

tommie said...

By the way... No Relations, please!

John said...

They funniest part of this remake is that they blatantly rip-off the track used by KC and Teri DeSario.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRd70wkyqyI

tommie said...

To spam this post a bit further - I must say I love the fact that the petition to release Startin' Over has garnered a MASSIVE 33 signatures!

Purely Toytastic.

Jay said...

I like the instrumental.

Mister TJ said...

Oh Mike.. thankyou for keeping the dream alive! it's easy to forget all about Queen Toy in day to day life considering her seemingly extreme efforts not do anything.. but you're always there to remind us just why we were Toy Soldiers in the first place.

and the link John posted is hilarious.. the producer of the Toy/Jed track totally STOLE the other instrumental. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRd70wkyqyI)

So the Toy/Jed version is nothing more than a tacky karaoke! kinda like most of Toy's stuff..... i wouldn't have it any other way!

TJ

Jamie_movietrip said...

Only Toy can bring this kind of joy to the world - another amazing post, Mike! More more more!

I think 33 would be an excellent start for Startin' Over!

Tommy said...

Let me just add my name to the pleas for more Toy, please! I still remember several years back when her management said they intended to release "Startin' Over" "in the summer."

It's been at least four summers now, and I thought it was kind funny how they never mentioned which summer exactly. At this point, I'm guessing Summer 2019, around the time when a flavour of the moment pop diva releases a smash cover of Toy's stunning 2004 Billboard Club Hit "Just Wanna Dance" and they figure it might, just might, be their last chance.

Anyway, thanks for posting this! I've always been curious to hear this. If this single's sheer obscurity, stilted vocal chemistry and awkward Japanglish lyrics weren't enough, the shameless, karaoke style re-make (great find, John!) puts it over the top! Love it! I wonder who was the producer on this version.

Anonymous said...

LaToya's Japanese is actually great. I'm quite surprised.

T. said...

Wow this song is wonderfull, I think i like the Toy ballads, like "somewhere", "camp kuchi"...
How did you get that extra rare song? Id like to have it too!

Anonymous said...

Please post YES I@M READY again. Link doesn't work and I would love to hear it. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Jed became a contractor in California within a couple years after this. I know his last name, but I'm not going to give it, out of respect for him. He told me years ago about him working with LaToya, but I could never verify. He knew way too much about the record industry for it to be BS and now I can see for a fact it was true. I had to find the video of the song on youtube to verify it was him though. I think he was on his Mormon mission to Japan and became a singer just by some fluke. He's a great guy. By the way, in person he does not come across as the male model type as he does in the picture. His hair is nowhere near as this perfect. Your mystery is now solved. Jed is an average dude with what seems like an unbelievable past, that turns out to be true!