Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Kylie & The Curse Of Xenomania

You'd think ruining the Pet Shop Boys' career would have been enough for Xenomania but, if media reports are accurate, they are now looking to drag Kylie into their two man flop machine. Honestly, the thought of Brian and Miranda producing the majority of Kylie's next album makes my blood run cold. Isn't the hideousness of "Giving You Up" warning enough that Kylie shouldn't be allowed within 10 Kilometres of Xenomania? It's by far the worst single of her 20 year career - and she wants to make half the album with them? Someone please call Susan Powter because we need to STOP THE INSANITY!

I agree that Kylie's next offering needs a more cohesive sound. "X" is my second favourite Parlophone album after "Light Years" but it did suffer from too many cooks in the kitchen. Hiring one or two producers is a great idea but Xenomania isn't the answer. Kylie needs to push her boundaries and keep trying new things, while everything that Brian Higgins touches has that same boring old sound. I'll gladly put up with the occasional "Nu-Di-Ty" for the pristine pop of "The One", "In My Arms" and "2 Hearts". Xenomania is a spent force. Working with them would be two huge steps back. Artistic merit aside, it would also be commercial suicide. Their sound is so English. Exactly how many hits have the ugly trolls from Girls Aloud scored outside the UK? I think you'll find the answer is 0. Has poor Kylie finally given up on international chart success in order to score a few cheap hits in Britain?

If the Xenomania revelation wasn't bad enough, the same sources state that Kylie will work on the other half of the album with Nerina Pallot. Seriously, was Lisa Scott Lee busy? I'm lost for words. I quite liked the flop diva's last album (particularly her cover of "Confide In Me") but I sure as hell don't want Kylie to emulate her sound. Kylie has made such edgy choices in the past, working with the likes of Emiliana Torrini and Kish Mauve. Why is she bothering with this middle of the road has-been? While I run to church and pray that this is all a big hoax, check out Nerina's only "hit" (below). Can't you just imagine this as a Kylie anthem? No, me neither.

17 comments:

Peibols said...

I'm not gonna tell you what I think, cos you already know.

John said...

Xenomania I get, although she's behind the curve on that one. But Pallot? What dirt does she have on Kylie?

tommie said...

SERIOUSLY!

Unless Xenomania happens to come up with something shockingly brilliant, Kylie should run in the other direction. I hope I'm wrong, but this new album is turning out to be a disaster in the making. I mean, what the fuck, Kylie? "The Boy Does Nothing" was a hit because it sounded like "Mambo No 5", you know...

Paul said...

i adore Nerina Pallot so i'd be interested to see what she can do with kylie :) Her album before the one that made her famous had some glorious but ignored pop gems on. Xenomania, meh. I'm ambivalent about their inclusion. But remember EVERYONE was involved in X at some point so who knows what will end up on there and what won't.

Aaron said...

I'm with John...

I can understand Xenomania - I like a fair few of their tracks and it's not like the pop is bad.

However, I'm not exactly sure what Nerina Pallot is going to do. Maybe a ballad for the end of the album....

Anyways, Kylie really should get The Freemasons and David Guetta together and move to Sweden - The let them make a fantastic album!

Guy said...

Wow -- the Nerina Pallot thing is scary and out of left field. I think unfortunately the Xenomania move would be exactly the kind of retreat K normally takes after unsuccessful albums. I actually wouldn't mind hearing an album of Kylie Xenomania, but only if it was released many years ago...

The Prophet said...

Xenomania are amazing.

Giving You Up is one of her best single, and nu-di-ty is so good! The One is the worst song from X besides that terrible ballad that i cant even remember the name of.

I want her to do more songs like body language thats her best album I think. I dont like the disco songs like on Light Years, theyre so cheesy.

The Prophet said...

That's it, Cosmic is what it's called! It's so bad.

X was really hit and miss. My faves were 2 Hearts, Speakerphone, Sensitized, and heart beat rock.

The One and Cosmis are the worst, but i dont like the rain song much either.

I love the remix of Wow with Trina & Ludacris, and I like In My Arms except the chorus is a bit too stonewall, but its still good.

Body Language is definitely my favorite. I love all the songs! Sweet Music is my least fave tho.

Yuяi said...

Damn you, Mr. Poptrash! Here I was thinking this could be very good for Kylie, and then, your post. I have to say that I have given it much thought since reading and I think you may be on to something here. GA's leftovers? Is that really what our girl needs? I dunno... I really like Xenomania's stuff, but Kylie is supposed to be the trendsetter. Same thing happened to Madge with Timbaland. Sure the single was a hit but that was it. Flop-city for the other singles.

Paul said...

oh! Yuri reminded me that (nothing to do with this post) Entertainment Weekly started calling Felicity "Flopcity" in it's second season because the ratings were down.

It seems trashily appropriate that my word verification is Speidi.

Boo to the nerina hate. Watch Out Billy is an ace pop tune.

Anonymous said...

surely 'Please Stay' (or 'He's Gay' as I like to say) is Kylie's worst single to date. Maybe this bit of info on the album is to throw off everyone and the actual collaborators and writers for her new album will be as follows:
Shirley Manson
Ladyhawke
Michaela Banas
Sigur Ros and Bat For Lashes, although a dude from Eagles Of Death Metal has revealed he loves Kylie, maybe he can do some wonders with her.
I hear that Dannii will be recording a tribute album to Rihanna which will be amazing!

bubu said...

i agree this doesn't bode well for Kylie's fortunes outside the UK. the biggest Xenomania hit globally must be The Boy Does Nothing. and wasn't that big.
no comment on Nerina.

Anonymous said...

I am still hoping this is more invented shite along the same lines of "Never Too LAte is the opening number for Showgirl - CUNFURMD111 I seed the rehersals" and "i spoke to kylei backstage at the kylie show and she told me taht CGYOMH was remixed exclsivelley by a japanese dj and that it wasn't going to be released but I suggested it should be and she said ok11111"

Jamie_movietrip said...

TRAGIC! Poor Kylie, is she totally out of ideas?

Justin said...

I can't believe you all believe this tabloid fodder from The Sun, lol!

The Nerina news is true but those tracks are being produced by Andy Chatterley (Skylark) who remixed I Believe In You.

undisco_me said...

The radio edit of Untouchavable is the only track I can imagine what them tailoring tracks for Kylie would sound like, and even then I was pining for it to be covered by Kelly Llorenna.

In My Arms, The One, Wow and Stars worked best for me from X. Her face looks like a botoxed and bald scrotum these days, it's starting to embarass Dannii so much it's delaying her follow-up to Neon Nights. Kylie working with Xeonomania is so not the way to go - if they write for a Minogue it's Dannii they need to touch up and they need to think "All I Wanna Do" not "I'm Not The Bumming Kind".

intheknowforreal said...

The word is that an American producer/writer that works in London has "Spinning Around" era level smash hits for K and that there is some kind of publishing politics battle going on. Terry is well aware of this. He is also aware that if she doesn't get them someone else will.
She hasn't had a REAL global smash in a very very long time, and aligning herself with a jackass lie perez hilton just takes her down. She simply doesn't need him and I'm quite surprised that Terry is allowing it to continue. The ever tightening world of real pop super-stardom, which K is in, is having an effect on all of this. Its almost at the point where anyone is afraid to say No this IS NOT right for you. Even though its a relatively small group, there are as stated on this forum way too many cooks in the kitchen, and none of them have the recipe. K is a truly unique act and they haven't got it really right (the records) for at least 8 years, staggering live draw aside.