Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Return Of K Lo!

Bow down, bitches. According to industry whispers, the orange goddess is currently bathing in a vat of golden glow in preparation for her magnificent comeback! The pop world just isn't the same without Kelly Llorenna's stunning pipes and luminescent fake tan. She is British pop music and I, for one, can't wait for her return to the lower reaches of the UK top 75. Despite her absence, sultry K Lo has been a busy girl since her last flop single, "I Will Love Again", peaked at a lofty #105. She has recorded a HI-NRG cover of a James Bond theme song for Klone Records, been hired as the vocalist du jour for legendary dance outfit Love To Infinity and most excitingly, re-joined forces with N-Trance - the group that rocketed her to international superstardom all those years ago.

The new N-Trance record, "Nothing Lasts Forever", is a glorious return to form. The beats come hard and heavy, while Kelly's exquisite vocals waft above the track like a gift from sweet baby Jesus. Seriously, listening to this you would be forgiven for thinking it was 1997 all over again and I mean that as a huge compliment. I hope the song is a smash hit for Kelly and the boys but given AATW's (her record company) recent track record, I wouldn't be surprised if this brilliant anthem never sees the light of day. So make sure you listen to it here. It really is quite fabulous. While we wait with baited breath for K Lo's glorious return, why not check out her last opus - a trashtastic cover of Donna Summer's "Hot Stuff". I finally worked out how to stream music (thanks Jennifer!), so you can bask in Ms Llorenna's magnificence below. This stunning masterpiece appears on the classily titled "Gay Days 5" compilation and is available to download from Australian iTunes. Welcome back, Kelly. You have been sorely missed!

Hot Stuff

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Vile, err, Mike, it's getting harder to stick witcha.

Kelly Llorenna? Tragic! Trash indeed.

Jamie_movietrip said...

I love how someone would only dare to insult Queen K-Lo on this blog under the shrowd of the anonymous feature. You sir, should be ashamed of yourself!

Kelly is a true original and I have missed her so much! I adore her version of Hot Stuff! How amazing!!! Could so easily be a hit for her IMO.

Still not 100% convinced by the new N-Trance single, but I'd support her if she released a record of herself humming away in the tanning booth down her local video shop. She is that good!

Mike said...

I know, Jamie. I can't believe there are ruthless Kelly haters lurking around my blog either.

Fuck Amy Winehouse and Adele, K Lo is clearly the greatest talent to emerge from the UK in the last 25 years! FACT.

Aaron said...

FANTASTIC!!!! Bring on an album!!!

The Prophet said...

I was gonna check this bitch out but if she does NRG and dance music than no way!!! I cant stand that stuff. I like my trashy pop to be more along the lines of soap stars and reality tv personalities giving music a go with a POP single. Keeley, Chanelle, Holly Valance...

Oh and I replied to ur comment on my blog.... AND what do u mean 'choose between my favorite minogue'. THERE'S ONLY ONE GOOD ONE!!!!!! AND THATS DANNII BITCH! She's in this weeks WHO magazine, and she looks STUNNING!

The Prophet said...

Lawwwwwwd hammmercy! I looked up that kelly chick, some song called close to my heart or something. It was this dreadful stonewall music with her on the beach!!!

If u want a talented KELLY have u seen this trashy video before?

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=YTFrm0J8UHU

and why havent u replied to my Jo Beth email yet!

tommie said...

Is K-Lo still with AATW records though?

And the undercover hater needs punishment.

tommie said...

By the way Mike - have you heard of the fabulous Melissa Totten who manages to make Madonna songs bareable - she's released an album called Forever Madonna on Klone and even cleaned out their budget when she made a video for La Isla Bonita:

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=31824327

FIERCE!

Jay said...

I'm sure I commented on this - but I must have either not posted it or posted it in the wrong place...

Mike said...

Prophet - I never received your Jo Beth e-mail. Please re-send! I like the duet between Kelly Rowland & Nadiya a lot. At least the flop bitch can claim to be "big in France"! And K Lo's cover of "Tell It To My Heart" is amazing. End of.

Tommie - I think I have a cheap Madonna covers album from Klone. Don't tell me they've made another one. I'll have to check Melissa out.

Jay - Definitely no comment received. They show up immediately so if it's not here, it has disappeared into cyberspace. Boo.

The Prophet said...

Oh u didnt get it, i must have sent it to the wrong person! Basically I sent you a youtube of Jo Beth Taylor doing some song from 1990, and I was shocked because I never knew she was a pop star! I was like "Omg she did not sing!" It was so bad.

Tommy said...

That Donna cover glows as brightly as her orange tan! I'm in love!

D'luv said...

Doll, that clip of "Hot Stuff" makes me want to give head to a butcher knife.

Jamie said...

Kelly is such a classy bird. I always like to think of her as the love child of Kelly Wilde.

undisco_me said...

Her throat sounds dryer than sandpaper - it's deepthroat-tastic, the things that girl can do at once doesn't bear thinking about.

A new album to chew on would be good - I'll bet she has nearly as much unreleased material as Dannoushka, at least K-Lo has unrivalled girth.

Scoodle said...

The N Trance track isn't Kelly on vocals! More's the pity.