Friday, January 09, 2009

The PTA Blog Awards!

Welcome to the first but most probably not annual, Pop Trash Addicts Blog Awards. This is my way of celebrating the best (and worst) of pop music blogging. I was inspired to honour Blogland's over- and underachievers after reading the list of nominees for Weblog's "Best Music Blog". With the exception of the brilliant Fizzy Pop (please vote for it here), I would prefer to go down on Dulta when she's on the rag than peruse any of these too cool for school wankfests ever again. The majority specialise in deathly boring indie rock and even the "pop friendly" blogs rave endlessly about Lykke Li. Sorry but that bitch is no Dannii! Where are the fun pop blogs? The nominees are all clearly great at what they do but I'll stick to bloggers who think Fleet Foxes are fast animals and abstain from holding their own poorly attended club nights. Here are my completely subjective highlights from the weird and wonderful world of blogging in 2008:

Best New Blogs:
Postcards From Puerto Rico
Jay actually admits to buying Uncle B and posts amazing Dannii porn. I'm obsessed!
An invaluable resource for lovers of locally produced pop.
The Prophet
A great urban pop blog that specialises in fabulous divas like Mariah, Jennifer Lopez and La Toya Jackson.
The only blog that would review Enya's Christmas album and Kevin Rudolph back to back!

Most Misleading Blog Title:
Disco Belle
I was expecting Gloria Gaynor. I got Swizz Beats & Lil Wayne.
Trash Menagerie
Lord knows, there ain't no Kelly Wilde on this über-cool blog!

Most Sorely Missed Blog:
How I miss this fabulous shrine to all things Stock Aitken Waterman. Blogland just isn't the same without him.

Blogger On The Best Drugs:
Diva Incarnate
I absolutely worship this blogger but girlfriend needs to put the crackpipe down before getting online. On second thoughts, the Diva probably needed a strong narcotic to get through Girls Alouds' new album but his review of "Out Of Control" is, well, completely out of control. This is probably my favourite post of the year - it has to be read to be believed! My favourite quote:

Distorted reality is diluted into glistening eyes, and who better to convey unruffled dignity than the queen of utter-ness Nicola. With such static horror and ambivalence, her only way of sounding more calm would be to be dead - she sings softly, but speaks volumes.

Best Blog Concept:
My Spanish pal David (above) posts a fabulous new song every day - accompanied by a raunchy pic of himself! Truly fergalicious!

Best Blogs That Are Rarely Updated:
Tat Parade
This lazy whore needs to pull his finger out! Jamie, your blog is a truly amazing shrine to 80s has-beens and floptastic divas but I feel like I age a decade between posts. Get it together, girl!
Diva Incarnate
Every now and again this trashtastic blog blows me away with a spectacular post. The rest of the time it's as empty as Kylie's uterus.
Revolutionary Pop Music
Well, it started with a bang but the wind seems to have well and truly gone out of this ship's sails.

Best Blogs Devoted To One Artist:
Trip The Switch
The best Kylie blog on the internet. It's beautifully designed, informative and most importantly - doesn't specialise in posting illegal downloads unlike most Kylie "fan" sites.
Madonna Revelations
The sexy sluts that run this superlative site are sweet angels sent from the heavens to reveal Madonna's true evil nature to the world. Keep up the good fight, ladies!
I highly recommend this fun blog devoted to September. This is a great source of information about one of Sweden's finest exports.

Trashiest Bloggers:
1. Jamie from Poplicious
For fellating a married Lithuanian outside a Kelly Wilde concert. Bless.
2. Fernando from Bubu's Chart Blog
This drunken whore is a hot mess. Highlights include trying to rip down the curtains at Polana (a gay nightclub in Madrid), stealing a cape (!) and vomiting over himself and everyone else he knows. Doll, I miss you more every day!
3. Tony Tornado
Tony flashes his cock so frequently it should be listed in Lonely Planet as Madrid's leading tourist attraction.

Most Disturbing Post:
Olga Loves Yuяi
I'm not overly familiar with this place but it seems like a really cute blog. However, this post gave me cold sweats and a week of sleepness nights. Please stop the insanity! They beat up black toilet attendants and wouldn't know a microphone from a dildo. My arsehole has more talent!

Best Blog Rumour:
Apparently Poster Girl is a man named Kevin. This is about as likely as Dannii's next single rocketing to #1 in 25 countries.

Best Banners:
I'll let these speak for themselves. I know it's cheeky but I included one of my own. May Dannii's Dirty Box never be forgotten!

Dannii's Dirty Box

Milk Carton Pop Stars

Madonna Revelations

Blogs After My Own Heart:
This category is dedicated to niche blogs that paddle the same trashy waters as myself. I'm glad there are so many fine resting places for floptastic divas and failed pop stars. I pay tribute to all these brave crap connoisseurs in no particular order.
Milk Carton Pop Stars
The lost property box of Blogland. These fearless trash addicts never fail to inspire me.
The Ravings Of A Mad Woman
Drag icon Deirdre is currently preoccupied with her new shemale duo Talibananarama (!) but her amazing blog is usually a haven for pure pop trash. Check out her posts on Sinitta, Mandy Smith and Hazell Dean.
The Isle Of Deserted Pop Stars
Quite simply one of the best sites on the internet but more about this gem later.

Best End Of Year Countdowns:
Pop Poster Girl
It's only half way through but this magnificent end of year countdown has me completely hooked. I just hope the eventual winner doesn't make me want to throw myself over the edge of a cliff.
Duane wrote an amazing 31 album reviews for the 31 days of December in his mammoth 'best of' countdown. A truly great read.
Scarlett's Blog
Scarlett is new to blogging but if her end of year countdowns are any indication, she'll be an old pro in no time. Um, that came out a bit wrong! Check out Scarlett's 'best of' lists here, here and here.

Best Reviews:
Adem's 'Van She' Review
My idea of a good review is something that makes you want to listen to the music yourself. My idea of a great review is a piece of writing that convinces you to check out something you suspect you're going to hate and that's exactly the effect Adem's articulate and passionate Van She review had on me. I gave the album a go despite my better judgement and was very pleasantly surprised indeed.
Disco Delivery's 'Nocturna' Review
Any of Tommy's posts could have won this award but I was particularly swept away by brilliant review of this obscure horror disco musical soundtrack. I love the way he treats an album that most people would discard as a poor excuse for landfill with the utmost respect and admiration. As a result of reading his review, I spent weeks combing through second hand shops until I found a copy and am still searching the internet for the movie. I can't think of a better compliment.
Diva Incarnate's infamous 'Girls Aloud' Review
As mentioned earlier, this is quite possibly the most hilarious piece of writing I've come across all year. I'm not even sure if the review is positive or negative (I think it's the former) but it remains an unforgettable experience. I can't wait to see what he comes up with next!

Best Blog Interview:
Don't Stop The Pop
Robpop was in a league of his own this year. His interviews with Steve Anderson (read Part 1 here and Part 2 here) and Richard Stannard (Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here) were insightful, respectful and utterly fascinating. The little nuggets of Kylie information squeezed out of both songwriters were an absolute treat for a hardcore fan like myself. I just hope Rob gets Dannii's "hitmakers" under his microscope. The world needs an indepth Terry Ronald/Ian Masterson interview!

Best Blog Writers:
D'Luv of Chart Rigger. This fabulous media whore is in high demand across the internet, spreading his unique brand of D'Luv to readers of classy sites as varied as The Daily Beast and Towleroad. One glance at Chart Rigger explains his popularity. It's sharp, funny and he uses the word "stripper" a lot.
Robpop of Don't Stop The Pop. Rob is one of the smartest people I have ever met. He's kind of like Rain Man - only without the Aspergers! The combination of that intelligence and his burning passion for pop music makes every single thing he writes an absolute delight.
Tommy of Disco Delivery. Tommy's amazing eye for detail, academic approach to research and beautiful turn of phrase make each and every post of this gorgeous blog essential reading.

Best Spanish Blogs:
I read this blog every day and I can't speak a word of Spanish! I guess all the pics of semi-naked hunks help to overcome the language barrier. Pablo has become the ultimate diva of the Spanish blogging scene since fleeing Nicaragua on the back of a donkey in the late 90s. I love his amazing artwork (check out this beautiful comic strip) and Minogue fixation. Shame about the hideous banner currently ruining his blog!
Sexy Spaniard + hot tracks = great blog.
You don't need to speak a word of Spanish to understand this fabulous blog because there are no words - just clip after clip of forgotten gems from fierce divas like Sandra and CC Catch, not to mention my holy icon, Fancy.

Best Aus Blogs:
Adem With An E
Sometimes I think Adem and I have diametrically opposed taste in pop (he's part of the Girls Aloud/Madonna axis of evil) but it's never stopped me enjoying his fantastic reviews, brilliant writing or amazingly gorgeous website.
This blog has it all - soft porn and wonderful music! It also boasts a super hot blogger who likes to post the occasional nude picture of himself. What more could you ask for? I particularly love Johnny's recent post about Starstruck - Australia's most fabulous movie musical. Ever!
Trashtastic Aussie
One of the most sorely underappreciated blogs on the net. Natty's never ending pursuit of local trash is more addictive than crack. Check out her Top 10 trashtastic Aussie singles of 2008. Now that's what I call taste!

Best US Blogs:
Chart Rigger
From his hot lesbian soccer mum hairstyle to his copious use of the word "hooker", D'Luv rocks my world. I can't imagine life without Robbie's bitchy chart updates, banterviews or nostalgic trips down memory lane. I just wish he would drag MoogaBoo out of his dungeon lair more often.
Pop Poster Girl
I think the whole world secretly wants to make out with the lovely Poster Girl. Her encyclopedic knowledge of pop is unprecedented. This hot bitch would have me at "let me just put on some Jonathon Fagerlund".
Pop Music Notes
I'm an extremely late convert to this blog but it really is essential reading for anyone with a passing interest in pop music.

Best UK Blogs:
Don't Stop The Pop
Rob continues to stun and amaze with his searching interviews, Myspace discoveries and exquisite taste in pop music. I just wish the blog was updated with more regularity.
My Fizzy Pop
Paul's endless enthusiasm for all things pop should be medically recognised as a contagious disease. Thanks to his lovely ramblings I now know more about Simon Curtis and Same Difference than their own families. Quality.
This has to be the most criminally underrated blog on the net. Jamie is ten kinds of fabulous and probably the only person on earth to get lucky at a Kelly Wilde concert. I think more sultry Sanna Nielsen ballads are needed to bring in the punters!

Worst Blogs:
Chances are you'll have already read about it at Fizzy Pop or Don't Stop The Pop before it graces the pages of this beautifully designed but disturbingly derivative blog.
I have nothing against mp3 posting blogs. That would be hugely hypocritical of me because I started off as one. However, I always drew the line at posting commercially available releases that can be easily purchased from iTunes or a record store. This blog's persistence in posting new singles and whole albums is NOT cool.
If nothing else this blog proves that Scandipop can be as boring - if not more so - than anything to come out of America or the UK.


Disco Delivery
My favourite pop blog of 2008 is the absolutely exquisite Disco Delivery. Brilliantly written, lovingly researched (footnotes!) and presented with equal measures of passion and humour - this gem really stands out from the crowd with its originality. Disco blogs are not unheard of but they usually stick to the mainstream divas. Tommy, on the other hand, digs up obscure acts that even fans of the genre have forgotten about or didn't know existed in the first place. Every time I visit Disco Delivery, I feel that I've not only been entertained - but also educated. The posts can be somewhat erratic in frequency but I'd prefer to wait a month for pure quality than be served up a shit sandwich every day. An absolute must read.


The Isle Of Deserted Pop Stars
I've always loved combing through second hand record stores for rough diamonds. One man's trash really is a tragic gay's treasure! Well, The Isle Of Deserted Pop Stars is the cyber equivalent of the best stocked bargain bin in history. Nasty G serves up album after album of lost freestyle classics, floptastic divas and lesbian girlbands that shocked the masses well before TATU were hatched by music executives. This is also the perfect example of a responsibe mp3 posting blog. All the music posted is decades out of print and extremely hard to find. I can't help but think that the creators of these blissful tunes would be grateful that their music is being heard and appreciated.


Tony Tornado said...

I'm fucking flaterred!!!!

it would be so nice to have my cock on Lonely Planet: as a cover or inside. I don't care!!!!

Thanks, honey!!!

Miss U!


(but you know that the best thing in 2009 will be my DJING half naked! you have to come back!)

John said...

On behalf of the PMN staff, I'd like to thank you for the recognition. However, none of the staff showed up for work this week, so I may have to celebrate all alone. I'll be at the Wrangler after 10 tonight...

Yuяi said...

Thanks for the mention, I think! Guess there's no G**** A**** love here...LOL. Keep reading and perhaps I may redeem myself one of these days.

Jay said...

Fabulous! I am honoured that my Danniiesque blog is counted amoung such esteemed company!

And don't worry, I am preparing some Spanish urban delights for when I return from holidays.

D'luv said...

Wow–thanks!! I'm framing this (just the parts with me...all you other fuckers can suck it!)

I was a little disheartended that PTA decided to eliminate the Blogger With The Best Oral Skills category, as I'm sure I was a shoo-in, but I'll take Best Blog Writer and Best U.S. Blog.


tommie said...

The Cobrastyle blog is amazing and I don't even speak Spanish!

Nasty G said...

Thank you, you wonderful hunk of gay goodness! I'm so glad you enjoy the blog that much. You are EXACTLY the kind of person I created the blog for. Who'd a thunk there were so many other tragic fromage freaks out there like me? (though to be fair, not all of the artists are pop trash - I try to satisfy all music tastes.;) One thing, though... though the URL says Isle Of Failed Pop Stars, it's actually called Isle Of Deserted Pop Stars, as I've had a few of the artists write me in a tizzy so I changed it, as we want them to feel loved, non? But I know, Failed is infinitely more fun!

And I would certainly put your own blog on your list. The trashy treasures I've discovered here! Whew! Keep goin'!

Much love and appreciation, Nasty G

Nasty G said...

Oh, and I totally agree with your praise of Disco Delivery. No one writes with more love, care and intelligence. I love his passion!!

Anonymous said...

The Isle Of Failed Pop Stars is a fantastic blog!!!!

bomitoni said...

This is Joe from MILK CARTON POP STARS! Thanks so much for the love!! LOL!!!! Now you've inspired me to get off my lazy ass and actually update this blog more than once a month!!! You rock!!!!

Gavin said...

thanks alot for the award ;)

Peibols said...

I'm so offended!! My Cheryl banner is great!
If you just find any Minogue (3 of them) picture with the same face, mail it, and I change it especially for you.

And if I made a post like this, in the Best Australian Blog there'd be only one winner: YOU.

Get your green card NOW!

Aaron said...

Hahaha - Thanks for the award!
Your comment actually made me laugh out loud!

Great to see Adem, Poster Girl, Scarlett & Gavin (septemberweb) get awards - That's FANTASTIC!!!

Great list - and I must admit, I'm a part of the Axis of evil too.....

Trashtastic Aussie said...

YAY! someone reads my blog!

Justin said...

Oh my there are some fantastic blogs listed! I'm honored to even be mentioned. :)

The Prophet said...

Woo hoo thanks! The first thing i've ever won in my life!

Johnny said...

Greetings and goodness from the bare-assed dude on eMackinations. Love ya right back!


Jamie said...

Thank you for recognising my achievement as the 'trashiest' blogger. I'd like to add that I was just doing my bit for european relations. Do you remember him giving me a bite of his hot dog later....what a bi slut he was.

Tommy said...

Wow.. Talk about a pleasant surprise in the morning! Thanks so much for the kind words, Mike!! 2008 was a bit of a slow year for me, as far as posting goes, so I'm truly honoured to be in the company of such blog fabulousness! I'm already a fan of Isle of Deserted Pop Stars (it's like a trip through my favourite used CD shop, minus the drain on my bank account), Ravings of A Mad Woman (what meds is she on? Somebody thank her pharmacist!) and Jamie's Tat Parade (I thought I was sporadic..) but thanks to this, I've added a few more to my Google reader. Aside from all that though, I have to say, there's no other blog quite like yours. Where else can I get coverage of all the latest in famous and obscure pop divas, and get a wry take on the likes of Millie J, Las Supremas, and Carol Jiani all in one place? You're doing us all a amazing service.. Thanks again!!

P.S. If I ever get a copy of "Nocturna" the movie, I'll be sure to let you know!

Scarlett said...

Oh wow! Thanks so much for including me among all these pop blogging luminaries! :D Now if I could only do some regular updates...! ;)

Paul said...

Oh my this is all so unexpected. I'd like to thank the academy, Jesus, my special fella Darren, etc etc :P

Cheers Mike :) What a fun read. I particularly enjoyed the story of Jamie noshing off some bi-man-bunny at a kim wilde concert. Totally tops the time I fell over drunk making out with Darren at a Billiam gig!

Robpop said...

AWWWW, Mike! Thank you for the kind comments! I'd like to repeat what Tommie says regarding this/your site. Its legendary. Yeah, sending the love right back to you. When ya back in the UK we gotta do some more showcases. It was fun doing them together last year! Mind.Set.On.Coming.Back! You have to have your own column in some classy mag like Boyz. You've already been featured in it. Extensively. Next to the boys who bareback and the adverts for STDS. Last year was fun. And PTA had such a great year. I agree with everything you say here and will have such a pleasurable weekend enjoying some blogs you've highlighted here that I'd next come across before. Danke

ps. The isle of Deserted Popstars is amazing. When it featured Jasmine Bairds first album i was in complete joy.

pps: thanks for best blog writer in particular. huge love and kisses for that shout out.

Poster Girl said...

Mike, you are too much of a sweetheart! Plus you've now given me an idea for a new YouTube series should I ever feel the need to start upping the number of visitors to my blog--touring the world making out with a bunch of bloggers might up the hits by one or two! Though given the lack of straight male pop bloggers, I'd probably have more luck with that if I actually was a guy named Kevin.

The Isle of Deserted Pop Stars is a fantastic blog--I'm going to have to check out Disco Delivery! My disco knowledge is shamefully low, but even if I wasn't in search of improving it, even just reading the first half of that Nocturna post has convinced me that it's a blog I'd read for the writing (pretty much) alone.

It's really not fair that not only were you able to do one of the best song countdowns of the year, but you wrote the best blog list of the year, too. It's only missing PTA!

Jamie_movietrip said...

OMG it's like a trash freaks reunion! NastyG *heart*, Tommy - how are you!!! I miss our Soulseek chats so much!!

I know I am the crappest blogger ever, but I have been inspired and will be better in 2009.

I could spend all day checking out this fabulous selection of blogs! I have on addition though - the wonderful Burning The Ground!

Brilliant work as always,, Mike!

Jump! said...

Mike, wow! I was surprised to see my blog 'revolutionary pop music' even mentioned with such fantastic blogs. The RPM team is going to celebrate our honorable mention so expect more delays, lack of posts in the future :).

Your blog is always amazing and thanks for the great posts. When will Danni's dirty box open its creamy thighs again?

RPM starts back up next week. There is a pretty decent SAW spectacular Ive been planning.
Kisses- brian

Moogaboo said...

I agree with you on *all* of these, and also, I want to bear your children! Reow!

Keep up the great work yourself. :D

Adem With An E said...

Amazing stuff. A great read and I am truly honoured to have made your list on two separate occasions! So pleased my review got you to listen to the Van She album... I'd hoped my enthusiasm may rub off on others.

We do come from different corners in regards to my Madonna/Girls Aloud axis of evil, but that doesn't stop me reading all of your wonderful posts on here. Thank you once again Mike, you're an absolute darl!


undisco_me said...

Oh, I have a Bananarama dollop waiting to be spread, but like Dannii's herpes it's a pain to get moving after having stopped for a while. The ice-cool chic of OOC has definately thawed and it's clear to see there isn't much life to dwell on. It's a pity, but I do love Untouchavable. I have been meaning to do my best-of 2008 list for aaaages, so expect it in February sometime!

I was very flattered. I don't get the chance to even read the blogs these days, but Poptrashaddicts is the original and best.