Sunday, July 06, 2008

Temporarily Closed

Dear friends and fellow pop trash addicts,

This will be my last post for a while. I'm going to follow in the glorious footsteps of Holidannii and head for the nearest beach/Ibiza stripclub. My original plan was to visit some friends in Europe for a couple of weeks but I've decided to extend my stay for at least three months, possibly longer. I can't wait to escape winter and catch as many trashy pop gigs as I can. I've already organised tickets for Kylie and Australia's other greatest living export - Kelly Wilde! I'll miss writing the blog but I will definitely be back and hopefully I'll have a suitcase full of Euro delights to share. I'd like to thank everyone for visiting this dive over the past year and half. Your comments and e-mails have been greatly appreciated. Please stay in touch!

All the best,

Mike

xxx

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Shit I Like - Vol. 1

The title of this post is kind of self-explanatory! Quite a few people have been asking me for new music recommendations, so I thought I'd share some of my current favourites. I've tried to stick with songs that are available or soon to be available on iTunes but I couldn't help throwing in a couple of tacky gems. The list doesn't include acts I've recently written about, so don't forget to hunt down the latest anthems by CC Martini, Billiam, Tila Tequila, Robyn Loau and the holy mutant princess, Solange! The first pick of my list is Kylie's magnificent "The One" - a timely reminder that there is nothing wrong with Ms Minogue. This is perfect pop and the Freemasons Club Mix is 9 minutes of pure bliss. Sadly, plans for "The One" to be released as the 4th single from "X" have been scrapped - so anyone lucky enough to get their hands on the dildotastic promo should consider themselves very lucky!

Anyone in the mood for a dose atmospheric dance music need look no further than the Deadmau5 Remix of Morgan Page's "The Longest Road". This track has a sparse, organic feel that I love. The Radio Edit comes highly recommended and is available on Aus iTunes.

The next track is dedicated to Tommie, who turned me on the mind blowing delights of Norway's MiMiracle. This stunning diva will amaze you with her unique vocals and inability to keep her clothes on. I admit, the first time I heard "Show Me", I prayed for a mimiracle that the song would hurry up and end before my ears started to bleed. I take it all back. MiMiracle shows Robyn up as the boring Swedish cunt she really is. Fans of Scandipop have a new icon to worship! Check out the breathtaking video clip if you're not convinced. Masked intruders and MiMiracle's pendulous breasts make for hypnotic viewing! Unfortunately, "Show Me" is yet to hit iTunes. Boo!

Speaking of busty Norwegians, Linni Meister (probably best known for her destruction of "Survivor") has a new ditty that I've been meaning to write about for months. "Where My Limo At?" is just as classy as the title would suggest and you can download this nugget of pop gold from Aus iTunes. When is this fabulous bitch going to release an album?

Time for a change of pace. Judith Owen is best known for her sweet blend of Jazz and folk music but she occasionally mixes in the slightest touch of pop and the results are inevitably fabulous. I just fell in love with "Creatures Of Habit", it's so simple and beautiful - and Judith is seriously rocking the naughty headmistress look on the cover! Hear this amazing talent perform the song live here. "Creatures Of Habit" is available from Aus iTunes.

There's a reason why everyone's jumping on the Lady GaGa bandwagon - "Just Dance" is seriously fucking awesome. I'm very pleased to see the song steadily climbing the iTunes hot 100. "Just Dance" is one of few tracks that lives up to its hype. Possibly the year's best electro floorfiller.

The holy Queen of American pop just keeps on getting better! Seriously, Fergie can do no wrong as far as I'm concerned and her "Sex & The City" theme song is another trash classic. "Labels Or Love" displays the full extent of Fergie's amazing talent: hilarious lyrics, bad sampling and random comments about her incomparable hotness. "Labels Or Love" is currently gracing in the Australian top 20. I am proud.

I take back all the nasty things I said about The Veronicas. The twins haven't put a foot wrong with their latest album. The singles have all been amazing and "This Love" is no exception. I love their new softer, pop sound. It suits them wonderfully. Another well deserved top 10 hit for the girls.

"Fashion" is a new highwater mark for American pop music. End of. Bow down to the poptastic genius that is Heidi Montag!

I can't believe Enrique is still flogging his shiteous "Insomniac" album. "Can You Hear Me" was added as a bonus track in Europe to coincide with the song being chosen as the official theme to Euro 2008. I rather like it. This is a return to the poptastic goodness of "Hero". Check out the extremely gay Moto Blanco remixes, all available on iTunes.

Speaking of gayness, when did urban music get so fagtastic? Chris Brown's "Forever" is an example of everything that is right with R'n'B in 2008. Cheesy lyrics, synths and a dance beat. Seriously, Cher would turn up her nose at this tacky shit! I love it.

Here's something different. I haven't written much about country music on this blog but I actually am quite a fan. Admittedly 90% of the country albums in my collection were recorded by Dolly Parton but that's beside the point! I don't mind the occasional twangy guitar and The McClymonts are quickly becoming a favourite of mine. I guess you would describe them as Australia's Dixie Chicks only prettier and with a slight pop twist. "Finally Over Blue" is a great little tune. Give it a go!

I know it's a couple of months old but I'm still loving Vanessa Amorosi's Perfect. It's heart warming to see Australia's favourite lesbian back in the top 5 after spending all those years mending fences in the outback. I'm not very keen on her new album but "Perfect" sits nicely along side "Shine" and "Absolutely Everybody" as modern Australian pop classics.

Speaking of Ness Ness, her touring partner Michael Paynter has released a fairly decent song of his own. "Closer" was released months ago without making any impact at all but it's starting to make waves since being used in TV advertisement. I think Michael looks and sounds like Anthony Callea (with even gayer hair) but I still can't hate him. "Closer" is cute, catchy and uplifting in an annoying kind of way. I hope it takes off for him.

Fergie has been slumming with Japanese nobody Kumi Koda. I'm not a big fan of Kumi (she's no Ami Suzuki!) but I love "That Ain't Cool", probably because of Fergie's fabulous presence. The song was a #2 hit in Japan. I hope Fergie deletes Kumi from the song and releases it in Australia as the 107th single from "The Dutchess"!

I was critical of Jennifer Hudson's vocal performance on the "Dreamgirls" Soundtrack (basically she's not a patch on Jennifer Holliday) but her debut single "Spotlight" has been a guilty pleasure of mine for weeks. It's a relief to hear a diva actually sing instead of talk her way through a song and the understated production is really quite lovely. I hope this takes off for her, anything would be better than Jordin fucking Sparks.

Ok, this is cheating. "Say Goodbye To La La Land" is an album not a single but it's fresh to Aus iTunes and I just can't get enough of it. Sirens is one of my all time favourite girlbands and their funky new urban sound is scorching hot. My favourites include "Dreams", "Own Thing" and "Little Girl". This is definitely one of 2008's best pop albums. Very highly recommended!

I feel for Kelly Rowland. The sad bitch has spent her career standing in Beyonce's shadow, releasing whatever shit B has already turned down. She's like the poor man's Solange! Happily, 2008 has been kind to Kelly. "Work" turned out to be one of the year's best club anthems and the follow up "Daylight" isn't completely shit either. A cover of the Bobby Womack's classic, Kelly's version is a lot of fun - if you ignore the god awful rent-a-rapper. I suggest checking out the trashy Hex Hector club mix instead.

There must be some kind of a revolt going on in the Destiny's Child camp. First Kelly Rowland actually scores a hit and now Michelle Williams has gone and recorded what is hands down one of the best tracks of 2008. "We Break The Dawn" is one of those rare songs that just makes me feel happy when I hear it. I love the subject matter, the electro infused urban pop sound and Michelle's crazy dance moves in the video clip. If the curse of Beyonce doesn't strike Michelle dead in her tracks, this should be HUGE. On the Romanian club chart. "We Break The Dawn" isn't available on Aus iTunes yet but keep an eye out for it. It really is fantastic.