Friday, June 27, 2008

Tila Tequila - Saviour Of Pop & Homosexuals

Shame on you, American bloggers! I find it completely unacceptable that every bitch with a blog has found the time to wax lyrical about the, admittedly manifold, talents of Heidi Montag while completely ignoring Tila Tequila's stunning musical output. Expect hate mail, D'Luv! I'm under the impression that Tila is bigger than Jesus in the States but she remains pretty much unknown in culture starved Australia. I knew of her classy existence thanks to websites like D-Listed but I only became aware of Tila's breathtaking musical talent thanks to an iTunes recommendation. The indignity! Needless to say, I was completely gobsmacked by this wonderful lady's grace and dignity. Shame on you all for not supporting Tila - particularly when she is singlehandedly responsible for legalising gay marriage in America!

For those still living under the veil of ignorance, our saviour first came to prominence as a Playboy model. Given her overwhelming charisma and undeniable star quality, it's no surprise that Tila eventually graced several reality TV shows. The most notable example being the bisexual dating show "A Shot At Love", which Tila claims changed America's views on homosexuality. Somebody hand this woman a Nobel Peace Prize! In addition to banishing homophobia from the face of the earth, this selfless humanitarian also found the time to be the most popular artist on Myspace and managed to launch a pop career. Tila's first single "I Love U" was a stunning urban jam with some of the classiest lyrics in recent memory. I love it but I'm more taken with her second single, "Stripper Friends". I wish I had stripper friends instead of hanging out with clinically depressed retail queens but I digress. The song is actually a cover version but I'm sure the original doesn't boast a blockbuster video clip (above) about lesbian strippers who can't seem to keep their hands off their male clientele! This shit is deep and the song is catchy in the extreme.

After the shamefully lacklustre response to "Stripper Friends", Tila would be forgiven for choosing to concentrate on her television career or humanitarian pursuits but you can't keep a good diva down. Ms Tequila returned with her third iTunes smash hit in April with the brilliant "Paralyze". This tune is a huge change of pace for Tila. An hypnotic mid-tempo groove with some seriously classy faux-Timbaland style production, "Paralyze" is a delicate and surprisingly lovely treat. The video (below) is another slut epic with Tila posing naked in the shower and cavorting with what appears to be a ghost. Who would have thought that American pop music would be saved by a bisexual Playboy model with a little help from the bad dancer from Destiny's Child and Beyonce's mutant sister? 2008 really is turning out to be a weird and surprisingly wonderful year for pop connoisseurs. All of Tila's sex anthems are available on Australian iTunes, so get downloading!

6 comments:

Ro Ro said...

She's kinda D-List here in america along with Kathy Griffin. lol i do love her potty mouth tho and plus she makes out with elderly people whats not to love? She's had alot of songs on her myspace but only 3 have seen release. One song i really hope she'll release is "Fuck Ya Man" a true masterpiece!

Anonymous said...

Yay to you praising Tila Mike! I've been a fan of her for a few years and have her 'Sex' EP CD which is amazing!

'Rat Room', 'Little Brat', 'Knock U Out', 'Fuck Ya Man' and 'Sex' are all anthems!

Heavy Crisco xx

tommie said...

Her "A shot at love" airs on MTV here and it's so unbelievably trashy - my favourite part was when two girls got into a catfight over Tila's sexbox! I'll have to check out her musical output...

Jay said...

I love Tila! The woman is fabulous from her trashy music to her trashier tv shows! I hope she does another season of "A Shot At Love".

Did you know that Tila was the first person in the entire world to have over a million myspace friends? There are no limits to her talents.

Mike said...

I'm loving Tila's other "hits" - thanks Chris! When is this fabulous bitch going to release her album? I'm sure it would be a multi-platinum smash hit. In Lithuania.

Anonymous said...

No problem mike! i wish she'd release her album, even if she does give up afterwards - I would KILL to hear 'Knock U Out' in full!

heavy crisco xx