Thursday, May 08, 2008

Club Dildo Competition!

Our friends over at Central Station Records have kindly sent me three copies of Dannii's stunning "Club Dildo" to give away! In case you've been living under rock for the past couple of months, "Club Dildo" is Minogue Jr's latest compilation of "hits", trashy remixes and unreleased tat. Basically, it's the best CD released in the history of the music industry! To be in the running to win a copy of Dannii's exquisite opus, all you have to do is leave a comment listing 3 reasons why Dannii is the true queen of pop. Seriously, could this competition be any easier? I could list 33 reasons off the top of my head! Once the entries are in I'll pick three winners based on comedic value and accuracy - or if all else fails by putting the names into a hat. It doesn't matter where you live, international entries are welcome. So what are you waiting for?! The competition will remain open for a week. In the meantime, check out this video we made to promote "Club Dildo" over at Dannii's Dirty Box.

52 comments:

Mitchell said...

1 - Her Baps
2 - Her Funky Hits
3 - Her AMAZING Chart Run on the Club Charts

Peibols said...

1 - She is the youngest Minogue sister without trying.
2 - She knows of her fame, that's why she didn't even make any promo. Her CDs (even her fan releases) sell for themselves.
3 - She is more gay than all her gay fans all together.

ConfideInMe said...

1. Dannii is the only female artist with 13 Club #1's in the UK Upfront Club Charts. No other artist comes close!

2. Dannii ALMOST made a #1 with I BEGIN TO WONDER! and WHO DO YOU LOVE NOW?

3. Dannii was hand-picked by Madonna to be her $ucce$$or for the pop throne when she was allowed to bootleg Into the Groove to make the poptastic Don't Wanna Lose This Groove!

Steven said...

1- Her tits are her biggest hit.
2 - Madonna thought she was worthy enough of sampling one of her songs, and even with a name like Maddie behind her, she still flops!
3 - Who else has dumber fans! We continue to buy her compilation albums with all the hits that were on her previous compilation and the one before that.

-TakeABow88

britneys#1fan said...

1. her exceptional talent
2. stunning natural beauty
3. and almost 20 years of phenomenal chart success

daddy_cool said...

reason one: i saw her live at (the now defunct) gay bar 'wow!' at cardiff. she came on wearing leather pants and vest and arm bands with bright bright red hair and did a few dance tracks a few old numbers and the always amazing 'all i wanna do'. a song that should have been number one.
she rocked the house and she then became my favourite minogue.

the best track from this time is: disremberance... a hidden gem.

reason two: she disapeared to do notre dame, lady macbeth and some dodgy calendars, only to return with the electro-disco lp 'neon nights' which will be forever ignored but was/is an amazing pop-dance classic. every track (including the hidden one) could have been a single, even the b-sides.

best track from this time: goodbye song.

reason three: last year she went all out and gave us a complete anthology of her best work and a dvd and she forever behaved the lady even though she was under the scrutiny of that vile queen louis walsh and his hag sharon osbourne. (should that be the other way around)... she put rhydian in sequins and fake fur and she won the xfactor.

best track last year: hurt in love.

daddy_cool said...

hurt in love : goodbye song : disremberence

crescendoll said...

1 - Her fight with Kylie in Kylie's Show, genius!
2 - The fact that she's a lesbian AND makes really gay music.
3 - Her worldwide superstar $ucce$$.

Ro Ro said...

1 - I can feast my eyes on all her classy pictorials inside the booklet.

2 - I can play it relentlessly for anyone i come across and teach them the best music is from Australia cuz let's face it it's the truth!

3 - I can surround the CD with my dildo collection and pray at the church of Dannii nightly for my salvation!

Ro Ro said...

1 - She's an amazing vocalist. Her siren song captures every gay in a 50 mile radius and lures them in.

2 - She rules the dance charts with her resignating sex anthems. Touch her body? i shamefully would i must say.

3 - Her ability to pick hit material way ahead of it's time. Dannii's music is too powerful for most people to grasp until her next hits package is released.

Magical Froggy said...

1 - She is the only member of the Minogue family to inspire the creation of a beautiful bird/human hybrid creature, the majestic DanniiGoose...

2 - She has so many 'hits' that she can only remember the names of about 6 of them.

3 - Dannii's isn't just the Queen of Clubs, she's also the Queen of Kindness, endlessly raising money for charity and making the world a better place by shining her natural beauty upon us.

Dannii's Delights! said...

1 - She's the prettier, younger and more vocally talented Minogue
2 - Even though some may believe she doesn't care about music, she still listens to her fans by rereleasing whatever we bitch about <3
3 - She's a gay icon by being a closeted lesbiana herself <3 <3 <333

Miss Halliwell said...

1. Dannii is not afraid of experimentation (see Girl, Lesbian CCTV Scandal, X-Factor)

2. Her version of Xanadu.

3. Because no one does it quite like Grandma.

BONUS...4. Cos i say so!

If a copy of Club Dildo is not on it's way to me by tomorrow, there will be a semtex package on it's way to Woop Woop by Airmail as soon as my broken hip is better!

Miss H
x

Kazama said...

1. Her ability to change from Disney TV darling to Playboy Slutfest.

2. She threw water over Mark Lamarr.

3. Pole dancing. Enough said.

imbrolio said...

1) Only Dannii could come up with a brand new dance == Oriental Disco

2) Only Dannii cares about African children enough to sing Hakuna Matata

3) Only Dannii knows how to properly cover and sample old disco songs

FITZ said...

1- Her music. Everything from her voice to the amazing club beats just oozes with talent and fabulousness!

2- Her charisma. It can't be easy being the more talented sibling, yet getting less attention. But like La Toya Jackson, Dannii has persevered for the last twenty years!

3- Her looks. No man or woman... straight or gay could ever resist lusting over the Queen of Clubs!

Michael said...

1 - her bleach blonde bap-filled Playboy pictorial
2 - her pseudo-lesbian tendencies
3 - her big-budget music videos that could rival MJ's Thriller for the best of all-time

becks n b0i said...

1- Shes way more talented than kylie
2- Her tits alone are worth owning this disc cuz i love to gawk@ them
3- Her song writing skills are too powerful for australia alone share her with the world!

Bruno said...

1 - She doesn't sing for the money. She don't even try to crack on another country, she's always conscient of her everlasting $ucce$$ (and still atract people outside UK-OZ)!

2 - She has a lovely (now her manager) faghag to leak songs from the past decade and make the fags happy!

3 - She doesn't have the need to release a concert on DVD to prove she can sing. Her lifestyle of $ucce$$ keeps her singin' til' today.

facty xx

ChristopherP said...

1. She's perfection, which is most visible in her brilliant lyrics - buoy, how can u b so damn purrr-fect, etc.

2. She has a homegurrl named Sheila whom she cruises with listening to brand new jammies in her Benz 180.

3. She did urban ghetto music 18 years before Madonna.

Stu said...

1. Vibe On

2. Vibe On.

3. Need vibration.

randyj said...

1.She still manages to look like a natural beauty even with all the Botox injection's.

2.The brave thing gets around quite well and never complains about back pain even with her gigantic out of control BOOBS.

3.A third reason hmm lets see a third reason ohh hell mike i really want Club Dildo but i am 2 cheap 2 import it as i feel ive given enough to Dannii's drunken lesbotic holiday fund.

BPM987 said...

1 - She IS the true Queen Of The Clubs.

2 - She has more talent that both Kylie and Madonna. (See "Live For The One I Love")

AND..

3 - She always leaves her fans with delightful challenges
(ie. If a release will truly happen, if the annonced release date is correct, if the announced release date will be delayed, if the tracks on the cd actually correlate to the tracks labeled etc)

BruDé said...

1. He career has been confirmed
2. She's not only the Queen of the clubs, but also the Queen of Ibiza
3. Any reason is good a for girl night out

David said...

1. Gay
2. Gay
3. Gay

VictorGD said...

1. Name a gay song... she has covered it (or will do it... for sure!)
2. From Chubby, perm-haired teen to high-heeled, big-boobed, glamour queen... isn't it great? (don't you wish you could have done it that way, too?)
3. With a new cd every 6 years she´s the female equivalent to
Michael Jackson, so if he's the king of pop, then who the hell else is she???? I'm done with this!

seb said...

dannii is the queen cause she has a dildo, and uses her orgasms for inspirations to write new songs, aka touch me like that.

Bretticus said...

1. She can be So Under Pressure from her outstanding chart $ucce$$ and still have the time to go on endless holidays and release 3 compilation albums in a row.

2. Who else but Danushka could cavort on stage with a few dozen butch lesbians at the Sydney Mardi Gras whilst warbling her smash hit single All I Wanna Do, and still outshine her robotic and much less talented sister?

3. She may never be #!!!1!!!!1!!!!! on the proper singles chart, but she will forever be the Queen Of Clubs, and really, that's all that matters.

triptofan said...

1. Dannii Minogue. Queen of Chub To Queen Of Clubs.

2. Always Gives Good Promo. From the sun lounge.

3. Dannii's Star Empire protected by droid armies. Armies repayed with fan-only chart ineligible releases.

Sarah said...

1 - Dannii's music has the power to unite people. Like the 50 plus Iowans who belong to "Fans of the Dan Dan".

2 - She has 13 #1 hits on the UK Club Charts.

3 - If it weren't for Dannii, we wouldn't have Droid speak.

kluB dizK0 numBaR w0n 4 sh0r3!!!1111

Dirty Harry said...

1. She is the one and only queen of clubs, not even her FLOP of a sister can top that -_-

2. No other diva has her own alter-ego: DanniiGoose

3. just two simple words: 'Oriental Disco'... what did you think i was going to say 'Lap Dance'?

Dirty Harry said...

testing -_-

Justin said...

1. She's a household name in Ethiopa.

2. Her promo tours are so extensive that even Madonna's fat ass would die compared to amount of promo she puts in.

3. All you have to do is ask Nafensayz and he will certainly confirm that Dannii is the queen of pop!

boy toy said...

1 - Her undeniable endless sex appeal and maneater behavior.

3 - Her Ibiza-tanned skin and Uranium-whitened teeth.

3 - She CAN'T release ANYTHING without one or two major f*ck-ups! And that is a fact.

RV said...

1/ The only other contender for the name "queen of pop" were Madonna & sister Kylie but they both lost their chance when the first changed of cathegory and is now the "grandma of pop" and the latter after she released her R&B influenced "body language" album : Dannii has never turned her back to her pop/dance roots !
2/ Dannii has it all to stand & represent the queen of pop image : sex kitten image (with some trouble with female stripteaser video) as well as classy & camp GAY icon
3/ the crown of queen of pop seems to be the only award she still can gain without taking too much time on her freetime : release one single per year (a collaboration with producers who do all the work and offer her a sure club hit) won't let her have a number of #1 high enough, plus, gettin' some of her numerous previous record companies to release from time to time some new compilation to have something more to offer to her loyal gay fans all over the planet won't let her sell CDs by billions and appear in the selling CD figures guiness book, and still showing no sign of a honeymoon comin' in to get all GALA & co pay her a billion pounds for her mariage photographs won't grant her a new milestone in the prices celebrities are offered to show their private life or boobs off...

Jay said...

numbar wun dani iz 2 kol 2 chawt an owl da mozik pwez tel u dat da kol pephol dunt chrt cuz dey iz nut komercyawl

numbar wun - hatahata u iz stopid german ho no uwndastand da ostwywayayawan cwartz zho u da wae 2 go woz da zukez coz it woz hyha dan da doodoo syngul i wont u wih woz wun huwndwed an fwowty an diz iz it woz chart 4 11 wekz1111

numbar wun - nafen sayz11111 he confumrz1111

D'luv said...

1. Her plastic surgery is better than Kylie's.
2. She bumped stripper pussy for all the world to see.
3. When her tits smack together, it probably sounds like two footballs bouncing on concrete.

Trailer Trashlee said...

1. She's the greatest pussy! (Tune of greatest dancer, natch)
2. She's the one who shoved the Botox needle in the screaming Kylie's forward on the vid.
3. She's perfection and I won't give her up.

Jamie said...

1. She's literally the face of Botox

2. The 'Home and Away' years were particularly tragic, especially the whore-ish hair-do she sported back then.

3. She knows her audience and has never gone all 'serious' on us like Kylie.

trofeujabuti said...

1- She have her own sex scandal
2 - she re-recorded more songs than emma bunton!
3 - she is the only x-factor's judge who can teach how is to be on top and bottom less than a month

Scott said...

1. Performed Dirty Diana on YTT - surely worthy of digging out again and releasing as a single.

2. Great Wall blog featured weight updates and mention of road-side shit.

3. Managed to look plastic next to Sharon Osbourne.

ConfideInMe said...

1. coined the term "$ucce$$" with dollar signs when nobody even thought of doing it! Now, it's used everywhere around the world. Dannii should've trademarked this! Alas, $ucce$$ isn't Dannii's to enjoy on the charts!

2. She upstaged sister Kylie when they sung Kids! Kylie had to do extra singing and cavorting efforts in order not to drown in the screams of "Dannniiiiiiiiii..!!" from the crowd.

3. Her multi-media career spanniing now close to a decade of chart struggle! Only La Toya Jackson can relate to that!

DiscoIgor said...

1) She s the most talented Minogue sister...
2) she must be well frustrated that just few people have notieced it
3) i can't a foord a Dildo right now... so it would nice win one! :P

Tj said...

1. THE MUSIC: Dannii has a knack for creating songs that are sophisticated and addictive even without using the "mainstream" producers. (eg. So Under Pressure, Who Do You Love Now, Don't Wanna Lose This Feeling etc.)

2. DANNII HERSELF: Her aura is magnetic, mysterious, and she seems unfazed with her notoriety in the media world from lezzii gate, flopping and endless comparisons with Kylie. She just does her thing - which is to do good music even if she doesn't promote it - the music makes up for it.

3. DANNII FANDOM - Dannii's fans have birthed a new fandom from the usage of $ucce$$ as a word, chart watches, floppage to being queen of clubs, watching her every move, anticipating her unexpected ways of promo - I'm sure it has been one enjoyable ride for fans!!!

3.

undisco_me said...

1. Her name appropriately rhymes with her favourite breakfast-lunch-and-dinner, Fannii.

2. Often hides unreleases gems, rarities and remixes (not to mention the wig she ripped off Joan Collins' frail scalp) up her own love blender and blames Nathan instead, leaving him flushed and unable to find his Touche Eclat.

3. Dannii is the reigning Olympic sunbathing champion, a contest she holds every other day, competing against little African girls she stole whilst "saving their lives" with her song Hakuna Matata.

Gotta fist it, I mean hand it, to the Girl.

extepan said...

1. She has no disrememberance from fans.
2. She's got her vibes on.
3. She is perfection round the world (& it's undeniable)!

VBoy from Togerland said...

1. Only such a magnificent artist like Dannii Minogue, always being true to her original ideas,
could have voluntary changed labels more than 4 times in order to keep fresh her artistic
credibility and also be able to experiment with different groundbreaking genres.
An example of her exquisite (and varied) output is the hard-rock flavoured 'Get Into You', which
is deliciously complemented in the video of the track with Ms. Disco sporting the always
classy greasy rockstar hairdo nonetheless!.

2. La Little Minogue, being a massive work-a-holic, has actually recorded more than 3 complete
albums and 734 #1 singles that still remain unreleased, and weren't unleashed at the time mainly
because she decided it was sad and unfair to take advantage of her sister's struggling career in
the 90's. Instead, she put out the most radio unfriendly recordings of each albums and received
amazing critical acclaim and modest chart positions, just like she wanted it.

The only exception to the rule being the release of 'All I Wanna Do', a song that was accidently
leaked to mainstream radio and easily took off like the rest of her all of her previous ten
Top 50 singles did. Dannii, always ensuring the welfare of her sister trajectory instead of
hers, tried to stop the release of the single by chaining herself to the factory that
was printing the CD's to avoid further distrubution of new copies and then (after such
plan failed and got her locked up for 3 days) hiding most copies of the singles
behind Vengaboys and Gina G's CD's. She later took control afer this malfunction and released instrospective
compositions with the name of 'Everything I Wanted' and 'Disremembrance', both achieving Dannii's
desired amount of success - peaking inside Thailand's and UK's Top 21.

3. Dannii Minogue is practically one of the very unique recording artists on earth that have done
a wide range of TV shows and Magazine covers, ranging from being Disney Channel's dreamgirl
to playing a fictitious vixen on a Playboy issue. THing is, only a marvellous and self-deprecating
individual like Ms. Danielle would be able to show such piece of paper to her family and friends
these days and proudly say she did it because it she thought it was 'pure fun!' - without having a remorse look on her face at all. That's why I personally ADORE Dannii and truly think she's the one and only Queen of Pop - at least in my heart :).

Kamikaze Camel said...

1. The rap in "$ucce$$" is better than each and every hip-hop song known to mankind.

2. Her assosciation with Thriller Jill has produced some of the best remixes known to mankind.

3. She's released, like, 27 greatest hits compilations, yet they're all some of the greatest albums known to mankind.

haziebob said...

1) Dannii doesn't need to do promotion to sell CDs, she has her fans to do it for her on forums and blogs

2) The Baps are hypnotic and on any lesser being would cause an international crisis

3) Why bother having an album registered on the Aria charts? She already knows she's the Queen of Pop and doesn't need chart positions to tell her that

Paul said...

1.) She does HEAVY(disco) promo always when she releases a delayed single, non-releasing album, or X-Factor cash-in.

2.) Being the Queen of Clubs already makes her royalty, so being the Queen of Pop is just inevitable.

3.) She has a loyal ghey servant named Nathan who's mission in life is to confirm dannii news for her droids. Remember: don't suspected your dying until Nathan has confirmed it first.

bubu said...

1. She has, at least, 50 fans (above me) who won't bother to buy her new best-in-history CD. They just want it for free by entering a contest.

2. She's the only australian lapdancer/singer/artist that has released special-editions of previously-fan-released singles in Thrid World countries, like Spain. That deserves a Guiness World Record entry, and 1000 pints of Guiness for her to drink at once.

3. She has fans like me who just NOW realizes the competition is only for a week, so probably I am disqualified.

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