I almost passed out with delight when I heard that Rebecca Loos was embarking on a pop career. For the uninitiated, Rebecca is best known for carrying on a torrid affair with David Beckham behind Victoria's back - before selling the gory details to the News Of The World. And who could blame David? Posh is a dried up bag of bones with bad teeth and a stretched uterus, while stunning Rebecca is all woman. Since riding David, sexy Bec has gone on to become a global trash icon with her seemingly endless publicity whoring. Here are some of her highlights:
- Masturbated a pig on UK reality TV show "The Farm"
- Had sex in the toilets with Calum Best on "Celebrity Love Island"
- Married a woman on the TV show "Power Lesbian UK"
- Placed third on Spanish Survivor
- Presented entertainment news on Dutch TV
- Played a bisexual masseuse on "Dream Team"
- Was reprimanded for performing oral sex on an Air New Zealand flight
- Posed nude for Playboy magazine
- Appeared on "Temptation Island" and "Extreme Celebrity Detox"
- Publicly declared that Victoria Beckham lacked class and elegance
What's more, this dignified lady appeared on all those trashy reality TV shows for humanitarian purposes. Caring Rebecca declares on her website that she is saving money to open a school in Sri Lanka. What a saint! Hopefully the sales from Bec's stunning music career - if it ever takes off - will help pay for a few textbooks or at least some new breast implants. Her debut single, under the glamorous stage name Phoenix, has finally appeared on youtube and it's even more fabulous than I could have imagined. "Your Boyfriend" is an enchanting ode to Rebecca's endless sex appeal. No man (or woman, for that matter) is safe with Bec on the prowl and she's letting the competition know it! The biggest surprise is Rebecca's amazing vocal ability - her dulcet tones are a thing of great beauty. Poor Victoria must be seething that Rebecca's attempt at R'n'B is so much better than her own. Now, when is this glorious crap hitting stores? My collection is crying out for some Loos!