Monday, February 18, 2008

Toy Toy's Trashy Duet

It's time for a trash flashback! With the release of "Thriller 25" and the impending arrival of Janet's latest porn soundtrack, I've got to thinking about my favourite Jackson - holy Toy Toy. People always think I'm being sarcastic when I declare my love for La Toya but I'd easily rank her as one of my 10 favourite divas - top 5 if the lazy bitch would hurry up and release something new. As a pop trash icon, Toy's fabulousness is unparalleled. While other divas have thrown in the towel, La Toya has weathered a 30 year career of flops and failures with the determination of a mule. None of Toy Toy's 10 stunning albums have produced any hits but she keeps on rolling with the punches. Today I'm going to focus on one of Toy's most outrageous career lows - her trashtastic duet with Tom Beser, "Don't Break My Heart".

By 1997 La Toya was at an all time low (even by her standards). She had finally escaped from an abusive husband only to discover that she was a virtual leper in the US. So La Toya turned to Europe, where she could still trade off her surname. Never one to take a lucky break, poor Toy Toy ended up on the books of Tom Beser - a German producer of some disrepute. Tom tried to drum up publicity by claiming he had sex with Toy and allegedly conned her into a German club tour on the pretext of carrying out charity work. La Toya eventually came to her senses and left the project. Most producers would have called it a day but Tom pressed ahead, releasing their duet in 1998. To cover the absence of his duet partner, Tom simply hired a La Toya impersonator for live appearances!

Amazingly, "Don't Break My Heart" isn't a complete disaster. In fact, far from it. I love the tacky Euro-pop production and La Toya's stunning vocals are always sweet music to my ears. The whole damn thing is actually pretty catchy. The chorus is great and Tom's mind boggling "rap" is more amusing than it is embarrassing. I can't help but feel "Don't Break My Heart" would have at least been a small hit without Tom's unusual approach to promotion. Fans of cheap and cheerful Euro-pop should find a lot to like about this trashy gem. Enjoy!


Martin said...

Your blog is responsible for exposing me to the magic that is Toy Toy... I remember you posted quite a few entries aaaages ago praising this goddess and her reed thin vocals. Curiously i started researching her extensive back catalogue and I've been sharing mutual orgasms (with Toy) ever since.
Sexbox is easily top 3 of my all time fave "hot jams".
Not only has Toy been getting me off aurally for the last year, but the only reason I started dating my last man candy was because he'd read "Growing up in the Jackson family". Unfortunately though, he "prefered Janet" so naturally it was quite a short lived fling.

Mike said...

Martin it warms my heart, thinking I'm responsible for winning you over to the magic of Toy Toy, expanding her fanbase by at least 20%. I wish everyone could feel the universal love of La Toya! "Growing Up In The Jacksons" is fabulous - particularly when Toy reveals that Janet was a crack addict slut. You did well to ditch that Manet fan!

D'luv said...

Hearing that song is like a choir of angels and a dozen white kittens kissing my ears.

Me said...

Queen Toy Toy is lazier than Dannii! I think she should hire that inpersonator to promote a new single - assuming she can get round to recording one!

Jamie_movietrip said...

Don't break my heart, break my heart, I love you every way that you ARE! LOL. Toy's lyrical prowess is unparalleled, unlike my spelling. I adore the Extended Fox Mix, I think it's the pinnacle of 90's Euro Toy goodness. I really miss Toy's bullshitting ways and her fierce hats.

Mike said...

Speaking of Toy Toy, did you guys see this:

Say it isn't true!

Jay, that's a great idea. I think Toy should employ an out of work tranny to promote her never to be released masterpiece Startin Over.

Jamie, I'm partial to La Toya's personal message. Her German is hilarious!

Jump! said...

Another classic Mr Mike.

Morris said...

So, I do not actually consider this may have success.
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