It's hard to believe that Pop Trash Addicts has been polluting the web with the best that low brow music has to offer for a whole year! I started the blog as a bit of joke and never expected to still be doing it twelve months later. I've spent the past few days reflecting on my first 250 posts and if I'm entirely honest, there has been more filler than killer. On the whole, however, I'm quite proud of this place. There have been several good posts and a handful that I'm still really proud of, which is more than I could have expected a year ago. If I had to choose a favourite it would be my exploration of Dannii's gay icon status, while the worst post sticks out like a sore thumb. I must have been high! To celebrate both my blog's birthday and Kylie's 10th #1 hit in Australia with "2 Hearts", I thought I would return to my favourite Kylie post. In addition to re-posting those 10 craptastic Kylie covers, I've also thrown in several new favourites. By the way, this isn't meant to be an exhaustive list. Enjoy!
Soraya Arnelas - I Should Be So Lucky
Soraya swept to fame in Spain after finishing second on the talent show, "Operacion Triunfo". However, if she appeared on "X Factor" singing this cover of "I Should Be So Lucky", Dannii would have sent the silly bitch packing! Soraya's version is a poorly performed mess but it's still seriously fabulous. The song appears on Soraya's third album, "Dolce Vita", which comes highly recommended.
Daryl Somers - On A Night Like This
Yes, I know that Pandora and Anna Vissi did it first but I find it highly unlikely that Daryl was familiar with either of those Eurotrash divas. Australia's much maligned host of "Dancing With The Stars" was no doubt inspired by Kylie's #1 hit and against all odds, turns in a truly remarkable cover version. I think the big band sound and jazzy approach works an absolute treat.
Nerina Pallot - Confide In Me
Nerina is one of those annoyingly over-hyped English singer/songwriters. That said, I found her anti-war anthem strangely catchy and I like the fact that she was dropped by her previous record label after rubbishing them on the internet. Classy! Nerina's cover of "Confide In Me" is pretty faithful to the original. It's pleasant but not in the same league as Kylie's spine-tingling classic.
Hazell Dean - Turn It Into Love
There's nothing quite like a butch lesbian singing a Hi-NRG pop classic. Hazell's version of "Turn It Into Love" stays close to the original but falls short of matching Kylie's version. I love this tacky 12" mix!
Jose Gonzalez - Hand On Your Heart
A pretentious cover by the Swedish James Blunt. Yes, Jose really is that bad! The less said, the better.
Erdmoebel - Aus Meinem Kopf
It speaks volumes for the quality of song that it still sounds amazing in a different language, pared right back, without any of the studio wizardry that made it so spectacular in the first place. Erdmoebel achieve just that by turning "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" into a dark and moody, atmospheric groove. The concept sounds awful but it works spectacularly well. "Aus Meinem Kopf" wont drag you to the dance floor but it makes for perfect late night listening.
Steps - Better The Devil You Know
Steps were shit in general but this cover really is cheap and nasty. Usually I would find that combination irresistible but this majestic track deserved so much better.
Kelly Marie & Tina Charles - Your Disco Needs You
Kelly Marie and Tina Charles were two of the leading ladies of English disco. I love them both dearly and intend to devote entire posts to both of them. However, there really is no excusing the musical abomination that is their duet re-make of "Your Disco Needs You". How did it come to this, ladies? I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry! This is so tragic, yet I would be a complete liar if I said I didn't like it. So fabulously awful, it has to be heard to be believed!
Leah Dizon - Fever
Apparently Leah is Japanese TV personality, who occasionally dabbles in pop. I think her version of "Fever" is rather lovely and I'd love to hear more of Leah's music. By the way, the clip needs age activation because Leah is a bit of a ho.
Kia - Better The Devil You Know
Kia is one of the cheap tarts on the Almighty roster. You know what to expect from an Almighty mix and this doesn't disappoint. Yes, it's craptastic and nasty but I like it. Kia has also covered "What Do I Have To Do?". Grab your disco whistle and get dancing!
Debra Stephenson - I Believe In You
Fans of "Bad Girls" will know Deb as the seriously fucked up inmate Shell Dockley. Deb got her big break in music after appearing on "Stars In Their Eyes" on which she covered "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" (pic below). Deb's Kylie cover received such a rousing response that she decided to take on "I Believe In You" for her debut album. The result is so bad it's fucking amazing pop at its finest!
Zeigeist - Giving You Up
This cover version was posted on the sadly missed Catchy Tunes Of Sweden Blog. I loved it from the first listen and this is probably the only cover that improves on the original. That might sound like sacrilege but I think "Giving You Up" is one of the worst singles Kylie has ever released. It sounds too similar to the rubbish being churned out by Girls Aloud. Zeigeist, on the other hand, have made it their own with their avant-garde approach. Great stuff!
The Jacob Sisters - Your Disco Needs You
This recording is surely the holy grail of pop trash. How will I ever top a group of poodle carrying, 70 year old German grannies covering Kylie's legendary gay anthem in heavily accented English? It's disconcerting and yet strangely satisfying to know that I have officially scraped the bottom of the musical barrel and still managed to wholeheartedly enjoy the experience! The Jacob Sisters' interpretation of "Your Disco Needs You" defies description. I'm convinced the ladies have no idea what the hell they are singing and the poor pronunciation only makes the song more bewildering. Kylie must be so proud!
Vina Uyen My - Come Into My World
Vina is a saucy Vietnamese diva, who apparently released a cover of "Come Into My World" at almost the same time as Kylie. Vina's version is actually rather lovely. Most excitingly, Vina has released a breathtaking video clip - which basically involves Vina putting on litres of make-up and trying on jewels! I love the camp dance routine! Watch it here.
Darren Hayes - 2 Hearts
Another desperate attempt from Darren to ingratiate himself with the gay community. Yawn!
The Smurfs - The Locomotion
No, I haven't forgotten about Little Eva. However, this is most definitely a cover of Kylie's version. I love the Smurfs (yes, I am a nerd at heart) and one of my favourite trashy records is their album of 80s covers! I actually think this is rather excellent. Leave me alone, I never pretended to have any taste!
La Toya Jackson - The Locomotion
The Smurfs version of "The Locomotion" left you cold? Surely goddess Toy's stunning interpretation will get your blood pumping. La Toya's talent truly has no limit. Watch this AMAZING live performance. You may need a tissue!
Deirdre Halliwell - Who Do I Have To Screw? & Out Of My Head
Nobody reinterprets pop classics quite like Scotland's filthiest bitch! "Who Do I Have To Screw?" and "Out Of My Head" aptly display Deirdre's stunning vocal range and lyrical genius. I'm very proud to count Deirdre as a friend - you don't meet this kind of talent every day!
Wink - Turn It Into Love
I adore this popular Japanese cover of "Turn It Into Love". It's so sweet and effortlessly upbeat - just like the original.
Jacquii Cann - I Believe In You
Jacquii Cann's so-unbelievably-bad-it's-brilliant cover of "I Believe In You" is a modern classic. This song is an instant cure for depression, if Jacquii can land a recording contract with those croaky pipes, there's still hope for us all. A work of trashtastic genius that belongs in every Kylie fan's collection. Bless you, Jacquii. I'm gagging for your next "hit"!
Sophie Lawrence - Secrets
Kylie's "Rhythm Of Love" album was such a perfect slice of pop that it was easy for several gems to get lost in the mix. One of those lost classics was "Secrets", an album track that Sophie Lawrence later tried to release as a single. Mobius recently wrote an outstanding post on Sophie's misfortune.
Before I finish, I'd like to thank everyone who has contributed to Pop Trash Addicts over the past year: Robpop (for being my MSN slut sister), Magical Froggy (for his graphic design genius and brilliant Caprice article), Jamie (for his amazing freestyle post and generosity), Jay (for his wonderful expose on Goose and ongoing support) and Tommie (for replying to my drunken text messages and sharing his music collection). Finally, a big thank you to all the people who have left a comment or sent me an e-mail! It means a lot.