Thursday, November 29, 2007

Britain's Trashiest Boyband - Billiam

Every now and again I stumble across an act so amazingly trashtastic that I'm almost lost for words. A perfect example is Britain's latest boyband "sensation", Billiam. Thrown together during a nationwide talent search, the boys spent 2007 busily raising their profile by partaking in homoerotic photoshoots (above) and touring schools and chavtastic discos across the UK. I'm usually not a boyband fan but Billiam's stunning musical talent and classy image won me over instantly. Take the band's #32 smash hit debut single, "Beautiful Ones". Most boybands stick to the tried and tested route of dreary ballads and uninspired mid-tempo grooves to sell records. Not Billiam! They chose an unfathomably camp Hi-NRG dancefloor anthem reminiscent of something the Vengaboys recorded in 1997. As much as I worship the artistry on display in "Beautiful Ones", I'm even more taken with the B-side "Boyz Text Girlz" (currently streaming on their myspace). This stunning anthem about love via mobile phones is a pop trash classic with brilliant lyrics like "your ringtone says one message received, so open up your mail and see that it's from me"! It should have been a single! In the meantime enjoy Billiam's jaw dropping "Beautiful Ones" video clip. You can buy "Beautiful Ones" from Amazon UK or download it from 7digital.

16 comments:

Miss Halliwell said...

Christ on a bike cycling to clone zone!

I love it!

I think that song sounds like a cover, it might not be but it might be!

I love the 'blokes naked in barn' pic. How very straight...

Lets big them up and get them another #32 smash with the follow up 'Up Da Batty Please'...

Mwah!
x

tommie said...

Hahaha, definitely a new low! Billiam are just lolz.

BruDé said...

That's really HOT. The picture of them nude look like the last Belami movie...

Mike said...

Deirdre, I knew you would approve! I think it's a classy Ian Levine original but I could be wrong. Bring on "Up Da Batty!"

It does look very Bel Ami!

Bollinger Bolshevik said...

What is it with gay porn and straw these days? It's given me nightmares ever since I say a performance of Equus.

Poster Girl said...

Ha ha ha...oh, Billiam...well, I have to say I like the fact that they've basically just gone "ballad about love? No thanks, not for us! We'd rather have a first single insulting the maximum number of people possible!" (even if it is being sarcastic).

I think I remember reading that one of the songwriters worked for Lionheart--looks like maybe Jonas Lengstrand? But other people could have been involved, too...

Mike said...

Getting straw up your arsehole doesn't really do it for me either!

Thanks for that link Poster Girl - Jonas must be a songwriting genius to come up with the memorable invitation "join us ugly people"! I wonder if he wrote the masterpiece "Boyz Text Girlz". Now that's a classy effort!

Miss Heide Von Binterschlappen said...

This time, you have gone beyond the bottom of the barrel - you have scraped through it and kept going deep into the murky depths of pop sewage...

The amount of "gay mullet" hair in that picture is frightening - and that is before you consider they are wearing so much slap that even Jodie Marsh would think it excessive...

I find myself wondering whatever happened to Fierce Girl...

Mike said...

The guys are hideous - I totally agree but that's part of the reason why Billiam is so amazing. I've never seen an act worry so little about credibility. I'm glad I've managed to lower my standards yet again!

tommie said...

Dannii should employ Jonas Lengstrand to write her next smash hit fan release single! Who knows what lyrics with Dannii as a muse can evoke?

tommie said...

... also, I must say it amuses me greatly that the obvious fag with the plucked eyebrows and earring sings "dressing out of fashion" line!

Tommy said...

LOL that photo is one of the most shameless things I've ever seen. Total gaysploitation.. Once again, you've outdone yourself!

J'ason D'luv said...

Okay, "#32 smash hit debut single" is up there with "Relight My Fryer" on things that make me wet my short shorts.

Mike said...

Thanks Tommy. As soon as I saw that pic, I knew that Billiam would be right up my alley!

And J'ason, I think #32 is a smash hit success for a song as .... unique as "Beautiful Ones"!

Anonymous said...

Oh god...I remember these first performing at 'Nightingales' in Birmingham, appropriately enough at Halloween in 2006 - they were bizarrely transfixing and actually called 'The Beautiful Boys' at that point - although my mate and I were far too drunk on very cheap sambuca so that might explain our fascination with this group!

I couldn't believe it when I heard they'd charted...

xamy_luvs_billiamx said...

.. a love these guys they r ace!! ... n yer lets get am a better place in the charts next year cuz tbh they really deserve better than 32 - am not saying anything bad about no.32 cuz it good but they deserve top 20 at least!! ... n that pic was done 4 a charity n i agree it very nice lol ...

love billiam keep supporting!!
www.billiamuk.com
www.myspace.com/billiamboyband

amy xxx