Friday, September 28, 2007

Whispers, News + What's Hot & What's Not!

I thought I would take a short break from my usual mix of tragic divas and no hit wonders to comment on (ie. bitch about) some recent events in the glorious world of pop music. I think I'll start with the dramas surrounding Dannii's sister.

My Kylie Rant

Poor Kylie wasn't blessed with Dannii's stunning good looks or natural talent but I love her all the same. In fact, with the exception of her glorious sibling, Kylie is my favourite singer. And like the rest of Al Kylieda, I've been obsessing over the progress of her upcoming album to an unhealthy extent. It truly pains me to speak ill of a Minogue but I'm beginning to suspect a "Body Language" sized disappointment. Alarm bells started ringing when Kylie selected "Sensitized" for the album over several vastly superior tunes. Brilliant anthems like "Lose Control" and Mylo's delicious "In The Mood For Love" were passed over for a song that plays like a cheap "Cowboy Style" rip-off, complete with an annoying hooting sound courtesy of sampling this trash. If that wasn't bad enough, I fear that "2 Hearts" could be Kylie's worst single ever. The Kish Mauve demo sounds like Goldfrapp for the over 50 crowd and leaked clips of Kylie's version suggest she stays worryingly true to the demo. And yes, I know I'm being a drama queen. On a happier note, the single cover is AMAZING. In other Kylie news, the great one has covered Grace Jones/Roxy Music's "Love Is The Drug" for this Radio 1 compilation and her version is absolutely stunning!

Dannii Update

While Kylie appears to have momentarily lost the plot, divine Dannii is flying the Minogue flag in great style with 4 soon to be released albums, a new DVD and a brand new single scheduled for an early December release to cash in on X Factor. Rumours abound that Dannii is re-working a Jason Nevins produced club smash that heavily samples "Mighty Real". I smell Dannii's 12th #1 hit on the UK dance charts. Long live the Queen of Clubs!


I'm excited to hear that Scotland's legendary Mary Kiani is hoping to release new material in Australia. I really hope things work out. Mary's "Sydney Sessions" album was one of the pop highlights of 2006 and I've been going through Kiani withdrawals ever since. Speaking of legendary dance divas, the orange goddess - Kelly Llorenna - looks set to release her first Australian single in years with news that Love To Infinity's "Keep Love Together" could be getting a local release! In other (old) news, lovely Jessica Mauboy has definitely been chosen to replace Ricki-Lee in the Young Divas. The world's most fabulous girlband is busy recording their second album of cover versions. I can't wait to hear the fagtastic crap the girls serve up this time! Speaking of Young Divas, "Love Is All Around" is the second single from Ricki-Lee's great "Brand New Day" album. The song is pure dynamite and the remixes are excellent.

What's Hot

I'm loving Jade Macrae's new single, "In The Basement". Jade has always been one of Australia's biggest talents but she finally has a song worthy of her talent. Expect to see a full post about Jade very soon. Another local act, The Potbelleez, appear to have a smash hit on their hands with "Don't Hold Back". The dance anthem is currently #1 on the club chart and ranks as one of the most added songs to radio this week. Don't tell anyone but I quite like Cosima's latest single, "Movin' On". Shame about the video clip. Moving on to international divas, I seem to be the only person who likes J Lo's new gangster anthem "Do It Well". I've had a listen to Jenny's new album and it is, somewhat surprisingly, very good! Robyn is always hot but I thought I might as well plug the Australian release of her brilliant album.

What's Not Hot

There's nothing hot about the publicity spree that accompanied the release of Dulta's latest shitfest, "In This Life". I guess a month of turning up to the opening of an envelope, TV advertisements and two CD single formats can still buy you a #1 hit. Dulta's new album cover (above) is as boring as you would expect. Speaking of has-beens, that old cunt from the Rogue Traders is back. "Don't You Wanna Feel" is rubbish even by their low standards. Go back to Neighbours! I'm also not sold on The Veronicas' new single, "Hook Me Up". I appreciate their move towards a more electro sound but where is the chorus? Time to go back to the drawing board.

Music For Wankers

Well done, Roisin Murphy. You have officially come up with the most pretentious album cover in the history of music! Bjork must be positively suicidal.


Miss Heidi Von Binterschlappen said...

I'm guessing you won't be enjoying the latest batch of stuff I sent you then... I love Bonnie & Clyde and think Sensitized has potential to be fabulous!

I'm not excited about the new Dannii track at all... Unleashed the Girl Reissue and The Video Collection will do me.

And don't forget that a-dulta-erous SLUT Good-Rim enticed her lobotomised Cultists to buy multiple copies by holding a competition too see who could buy the most physical copies. She really is the most vile and repulsive creature ever.

Miss Heidi Von Binterschlappen said...

Oh I forgot to mention I love Do It Well. Viva La Lopez!

Mike said...

I can't even listen to "Senshitized". Those hoots give me nightmares! I haven't listened to the Bardot tracks yet but I like most of her stuff. I'm looking forward to them.

I'm so not surprised about Dulta's desperate marketing ploys. I remember her webmaster encouraging fans to buy multiple copies of Innocent Eyes - every week!

Robpop said...

Loved this piece-PTA should do this all the time! Fucking love it!

Re Kylie-I sworn to myself to avoid all leaks and demo's that appear online. I'm being retro and won't hear her new stuff until I have the CD in my hand. I don't wanna spoil the affair by hearing things in the trickle manner in which seems to be happening these days.

Robpop said...

I really don't get the fuss over Raisin Murphy. I really don't get it. Wheres the melody? Its pouting music but without the strut. Where's the passion? Wheres the hardcore. Its too cool for school and I actually like school at times so it leaves me cold.

Mike said...

Thanks Rob! It was fun having a bit of a vent. I think I'm going to follow your lead re Kylie. All the speculation is getting ridiculous but I am mortified by some of her recent decisions. Dannii needs to slap Kylie around with her biggest vibrator.

I don't get Roisin at all. Fags will get in a lather over any talentless, pale faced English rose with an avant-garde wardrobe, I tell you!

Robpop said...

Thats not avant-garde. Thats trying to hard. I call her raisins.

Dannii needs also needs to stop leaking info. At least Kylie's people follow through and actually leak material. Dannii team mention all these ideas and plans and never actually follow through. Dannii needs to be managed by Robyn. She'll vibe it out of her.

Talking of Dannii's dildo I did an interview with Jonah a few days ago. And funnily enough that song was referenced! All will be clear later tonight-you is gonna wanna read this one! Its the best interview I've ever done but thats because Jonah is so fucking classy.

Adem IAR said...

Oh no I love the Delta cover, I think it's hot! AND the Roisin one too. :(

Agree with you on the "Sensitized" comments though, what is up with that?!

Mike said...

I think Dulta's had really unflattering plastic surgery. She's starting to look like Mr Ed. No comment on that Roisin monstrousity!

tommie said...

Sensitized is painfully shit. I actually think that the Dannii rejects on Unleashed will be better than haggard Kylie's album... poor brave Kylie.

And I like Overpowered - I don't care if she's a pretentious cunt!

Robpop said...

I actually like Sensitized. I like it cos it reminds me of a dream I once had about E.M Forster and a french lady called the Whore of Gaul. It was an odd dream. But it was quite beautiful. I was reading Jean-Luc Nancy at the time.

Raisin is ridik. As is Dulta.

I'm over these Dannii cash-ins. It makes me giggle for about three seconds. Then it angers me that her talent is being pissed on by cunts like Simon Cowell.

J'ason D'luv said...

Delta's lucky she gets to get fucked by that hot piece of Irish ass, Bryan Mc-whatever. That's the only interesting thing about her snatch.

Kylie shouldn't have scrapped "Excuse My French." That was some good shit.

Mike said...

I agree Tommie - I'm more excited about "Unleashed" than Kylie X, which is kind of disturbing!

Rob - Dannii's X Factor cash ins are really only of interest to fans and I'm really excited about them. The re-releases are a bit dodgy but "Unleashed" sounds great and her new single will blow "2 Farts" out of the charts!

Jason - nice pic! I liked "Excuse My French" too but didn't that turn out to be some Kylie impersonator singing the demo a la Kish Mauve? I lose track. Anyhoo, it was infinitely better than Senshitized.

And don't get me started on Dulta - her back door has been pounded by more B-grade celebs than Paris Hilton's pussy!

Anonymous said...

I adore Roisin. The new album is stellar and I think the artwork is kickin' too. She's got all the makings of a brilliant popstar at the moment. Robyn had better keep her eye on the prize!

Chris_Syd x