I almost fell off my chair when I saw this article in Wednesday's Daily Telegraph. Melissa Tkautz and flesh eating zombies? As far as I'm concerned, "Dead Country" is now the most highly anticipated film in cinema history! I've been wondering how they could possibly weave Mel's cameo into the movie and I think I've come up with a likely scenario.
After being dumped by her heartless record label, Melissa sets off on a tour of regional RSL clubs funded by her premature ejaculation advertisement earnings. Only the tour is cancelled due to poor ticket sales and Mel finds herself wandering around the Victorian countryside in vinyl hotpants, begging for diuretics and botox injections. On the brink of exhaustion, Melissa stumbles into the nearest town on broken stilettos and finds a job in the local gay bar collecting glasses. Several months later, Melissa finally scrapes together enough money to catch the bus back to Sydney and decides to put on a farewell show for the local queens, inadvertently raising the dead with an acapella version of "Read My Lips".