Thursday, August 23, 2007

Stop Press - Melissa Tkautz News!

I almost fell off my chair when I saw this article in Wednesday's Daily Telegraph. Melissa Tkautz and flesh eating zombies? As far as I'm concerned, "Dead Country" is now the most highly anticipated film in cinema history! I've been wondering how they could possibly weave Mel's cameo into the movie and I think I've come up with a likely scenario.

After being dumped by her heartless record label, Melissa sets off on a tour of regional RSL clubs funded by her premature ejaculation advertisement earnings. Only the tour is cancelled due to poor ticket sales and Mel finds herself wandering around the Victorian countryside in vinyl hotpants, begging for diuretics and botox injections. On the brink of exhaustion, Melissa stumbles into the nearest town on broken stilettos and finds a job in the local gay bar collecting glasses. Several months later, Melissa finally scrapes together enough money to catch the bus back to Sydney and decides to put on a farewell show for the local queens, inadvertently raising the dead with an acapella version of "Read My Lips".



Aline said...

Good to hear from her!!

Zac said...

Hey Trash Addict,

I love Melissa soooo much, she really represents me i could see myself in the same situation!

I can't wait to see the movie, i think it could become a cult classic.

Zac xo

Trash Addict said...

I love Melissa too! She's one of my favourite Australian celebrities. One of my favourite Mel memories is sitting next to her in Stonewall and seeing her mortified face when the DJ popped on "Sexy Is The Word"! Oh, and going to a record signing for "The Glamorous Life" and realising that I was one of literally 5 people who turned up. I'm desperately hoping her scrapped album sees the light of day - the clips I've heard are just amazing!

Zac XO said...

Yeah i really liked lost and found! omg that could be the name of the movie!!! I seriously just thought of that, wow i should really be melissa's manager!!!

Hopefully we will hear an album, i saw photos of her at the urban music awards so maybe she will have a HUGE comeback!!