I can not believe Melissa's tragic new low! I was perusing the weekly rags and almost fainted when I saw this article about Ms Tkautz in "Woman's Day". Melissa is trying to drum up interest in her latest floptastic album, "The Glamorous Life", by brazenly suggesting that she is responsible for Simon Baker's Hollywood career and that she gave Marcus Graham his big break. It seems that Mel had the good fortune to fuck both of them but was sadly cast aside like a sack of old potatoes! Apparently, it took the fabulous bitch years to get over the heartbreak and devastated her to the point that she became celibate and closed herself off from the world. My favourite bit is when Melissa classily adds, "some guys thought I'd been raped!"
I can't describe how much I love Melissa right now. This is the kind of trashtastic, bottom of the barrel publicity that usually only La Toya or Dannii Minogue could pull off. The whole article is pure comedy, from the opening "Simon and Marcus left her heart and self-esteem shattered" to the caption "betrayed again". Yes, it seems that Melissa's latest boyfriend recently dumped her too. Is Mel the only person who doesn't see a pattern developing here? This is my favourite Melissa moment since she publicised her last comeback by becoming a spokeswoman for erectile dysfunction!
Bless her! Hopefully, she'll find a man who will put up with her crazy shit one of these days. In the meantime, support Mel's crumbling career and fragile grip on reality by purchasing her latest flop single "Easily Affected", which reached a lofty #82 on the Australian Singles Chart. You can order it online at Chaos. Her album has been delayed until March.
Hear more from this fabulous diva in my previous Melissa posts to be found in the November archive.