Thursday, November 09, 2006

Queen Kylie Is Back!

I can almost sense Kylie's fabulous presence around me, like a brilliant, omnipresent force guiding me back to her loving bosom. At about 8pm this Saturday night, the Queen of Pop will re-claim her throne by kicking off her "Showgirl Homecoming" tour in Sydney. To say I'm excited would be the understatement of the decade!

I will be going to three shows and plan on relentlessly basking in Kylie's glow at every available opportunity - which is often given the media interest in her visit. Kylie is, quite simply, everywhere! Miss Minogue's arrival in the country was televised, her disconcerting Vogue cover stares at me from every billboard (Am I the only one who thinks she looks like Peter Pan in drag?), the beautiful "Love Kylie" lingerie posters are plastered all over shops and this evening Kylie's perfume launch headlined the evening news.

Being a Kylie tragic from before the dawn of time, I couldn't resist buying one of the limited edition bottles of "Darling". The name is hilarious. Could she possibly come up with anything more camp? As if a Kylie perfume isn't gay enough without being called "Darling"! I'm surprised it's not called "Amyl Nitrate" or "Gaydar Profile"! Sometimes I wonder if Kylie has been possessed by a clan of voodoo practising homosexuals - I'm convinced she sweats pink out of every orifice! Talking about orifices, "Darling" smells like it could have been excreted out of one. However, that hasn't stopped me from lathering myself in Kylie's juices!

I promise to review the concert if I ever find my way home. If previous Kylie concerts are anything to go by, I will probably find myself passed out in a toilet cubicle or burning up the dancefloor at some trashy club before the night is out. I can't wait to see the changes from the original "Showgirl" tour, which I was lucky enough to see in Europe. I live in eternal hope that she might perform "Tightrope" or "Ocean Blue" but I'm not holding my breath. Whatever the setlist, the concert is sure to be amazing! Welcome back, "darling"!

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